The cool thing about Reddit as a social networking platform is how anonymous it can be, allowing people to open up about complex topics and inquire about certain questions they might be embarrassed to ask otherwise.
However, if you know your partner is a frequent user (and they pick a photo of your old pet to use as their avatar), then the anonymity flies out the window.
That’s precisely how this man found out his wife had been secretly bashing his kids (her stepchildren) on Reddit and even complaining about having to “settle” for a single dad. And now, he’s planning to divorce her over it.
To give you a bit of background, both he and his wife have always enjoyed reading other people’s stories on Reddit, and she knew his main account’s username.
Yet, he stumbled across a specific post from a random user a few weeks ago, in which a teen girl went no-contact with her stepmother, who was upfront about not liking her.
“In the comments, some ‘stepmoms’ from a toxic sub raided the girl’s profile to tell her that it’s her fault she is being treated that way by her,” he recalled.
“In the comments, I saw one user being downvoted to oblivion. That user seems to make hating her stepkids her entire personality, and the avatar they used was an old picture of my cat as a kitten.”
Spoiler alert: the user ragging on the teen girl was his own wife, using a secret account. Even worse, when he went to check out her Reddit post history on that account, he realized everything his wife shared was about how much she hated her stepchildren, whom she referred to as “skids,” as well as his ex, whom she calls “baby mama.”
Now, plenty of parents who split up do not have good co-parenting relationships, which can create tension with new stepparents entering the family. According to him, though, that’s not the case whatsoever with his ex.
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They actually had a civil divorce, they maintain a strong co-parenting relationship, and he views his ex-wife as a great mom. His current wife, on the other hand, clearly has a different perspective.
He’s since realized that some red flags surrounding this have popped up in the past. For instance, his wife previously claimed she just didn’t want to interact with any women he’d been romantically involved with. Plus, she’d become upset whenever he went over to his ex’s house to discuss their children, and she didn’t like having a big, blended family group chat.
Still, the largest issue for him is how his wife spoke about his children on the internet. And sadly, her attitude toward them is actually something his own mother tried to warn him about last year.
Back then, his wife and mom had a falling out because his mom thought she acted cold toward his kids and intentionally tried to exclude them.
“My wife used her anxiety as an excuse, and I backed her. My wife has diagnosed with anxiety and said that she was excusing herself when she felt on edge. I was dumb enough to believe her,” he explained.
In reality, her secret Reddit account proved his mom’s hunch was right. To his face, his wife acts like she has “bonus children,” but on her anonymous account, she pretends his ex-wife is an evil single mom and paints his kids as terrible people.
He discovered that his wife mostly badmouths his 15-year-old daughter on Reddit, calling her a “snitch” who’s “stunted” for having a doll collection. She even mocked the teen for having a “nothing” personality and tried to say his daughter had borderline personality disorder (BPD).
But the weirdest part? In her posts, his wife tried to make everything his daughter did feel inappropriate. She admitted to whispering “ew” under her breath whenever his daughter gave him a hug goodbye and insinuated that the teen was like his “surrogate wife” until they tied the knot.
As for his son, his wife didn’t even bother changing his name when venting about him online. She’s shared stories that make him seem like a brat, but conveniently, she left out the fact that he’s non-verbal and dealing with chronic health issues.
“From her posts, it’s as if I force her to be their mom when, in reality, we live in another state (temporarily due to my job), and I have them one weekend every month where I am the sole caretaker,” he detailed.
“She usually spends those days having her self-care days or participating in her solo hobbies.”
Finally, not even he avoided being degraded in his wife’s Reddit rants. Rather, she openly complained about feeling like she “settled” for a single dad!
As you can probably imagine, uncovering her secret profile was a real gut-punch, and he confronted his wife immediately. She attempted to defend herself, too, saying the posts were like a form of therapy for her. But he didn’t buy it.
To be clear, he knows that everyone should get the chance to vent once in a while. Yet his wife spent months mocking his entire family online and attacking him as a father, which he finds completely unacceptable.
That’s why he’s actually decided to divorce his wife after learning her true feelings. She keeps asking for a second chance, but honestly, he doesn’t think their relationship can ever recover.
So, he’s begun staying with his parents, and his ex knows they’ll probably separate soon. Still, his wife keeps texting him, acting convinced that everything is going to be fine because she deleted the account and claims she’ll get help for her “social media addiction.”
“All I can say is merry Christmas. I thought I had my life partner, but it turns out I was just settled for,” he said.
“This woman was with me at my lowest when we met in AA, and I thought we were building a life together. I failed my kids by bringing her into our lives, and I will not have someone who hates them in our home.”
Can you imagine learning your spouse secretly resented you and your family from such nasty social media posts? Do you agree that divorce is justified here? Or should he give his wife another chance?
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By Katharina Buczek
Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing in... More about Katharina Buczek
