Time is a blunt instrument; it doesn’t measure how long someone checked out before a marriage actually ended, which begs the question: Is there such a thing as moving on too quickly?
In August, this 27-year-old man and his 25-year-old wife got divorced because of irreconcilable differences, meaning they were just not able to resolve the issues in their marriage.
They spent over five years together, and they were married for less than a year. In the months leading up to their split, his wife pulled back and quit speaking to him.
Then, she went on an insane rant about how she thought she was more like his mom or his roommate than anything else, which blindsided him, since she had never brought this up before.
“She also refused to consider marriage counseling and gave the impression that everything was my fault and all the work needed to be done by me to ‘save the marriage,’” he explained.
“She gave me a one-year ultimatum to ‘improve myself,’ but changed her mind less than four weeks later. I assume that she was cheating on me during this whole debacle, as when I finally made the choice to move out of our apartment on August 18th, I noticed a few days later on her Facebook feed that she was already in a new relationship ‘since August 3rd.'”
In the less than five months since they got divorced, he’s been living with his brother and doing his best to heal the wounds she gave him.
He’s also been taking the time to think about his failed marriage and save up some cash to get himself out of the debt he racked up because he permitted his now ex-wife to spend money like it was going out of style.
He’s noticed that his ex-wife has been posting all over social media to show off her newfound happiness, and she’s not exactly the type of person who’s active online.
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“It comes off like bids for attention. Despite our separation, she reaches out to me unprompted every 10 days or so to tell me some nonsense about our/her cats, or what her upcoming plans are, or to tell me that she found some of my stuff at the apartment to pick up, or some such nonsense,” he added.
“Yesterday afternoon, she announced two consecutive times on Facebook that she was getting engaged. While this doesn’t affect me personally, I was still shocked and upset at the news.”
“As far as I know, she’d only been with this person for about five months. Between spending effectively zero days ‘single’ and the super early engagement, it gives me the feeling that she’s just running from her trauma instead of learning anything from our mistakes.”
He’s certainly upset that she’s moved on so quickly, and it does seem to point to her having cheated on him before deciding to leave.
I’m not sure it’s the fact that his ex-wife moved on so fast that’s getting to him here, I think he’s bothered by it seemingly speaking to there being evidence that she cheated on him before ending their marriage.
Because who the heck gets engaged after only five months of being with someone? That’s certainly strange, or at the very least, suspicious.
It’s all irrelevant now, though, and he needs to block her number, unfollow her on social media, and focus on building a life that no longer includes her.
Speculating on whether she was faithful or not, or moving on too fast or not, is just a waste of his time, energy, and attention.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
