I always found it wild to spend so much money on weddings, considering it’s just one day of your life. How would you feel if you agreed to let your sibling use your backyard for a budget-friendly wedding, only to get hit with a list of crazy rules?
This man and his wife purchased their first home approximately a year ago. While it’s not fancy, the backyard sure is. He and his wife put a lot of time, energy, and attention into making it their oasis. They have a garden, flawless landscaping, a perfect patio, and lights.
Several months ago, his brother got engaged, and he’s strapped for cash, so it’s been weighing on him what to do for the wedding.
“Money has been tight for them recently, which is a big reason they asked this, as they were stressed about venue prices, catering, etc.,” he explained.
“I felt bad for them, so when he casually asked if they could maybe use our backyard for a small wedding to save money, I said smth like ‘If it’s really small and simple, probably yeah.’ Apparently, ‘small and simple’ meant [something] very different to them.”
Initially, the guest list was capped at 15 people. But it grew slowly and surely to double that. Next, his brother’s fiancée added him to a Google Doc called “Wedding Weekend House,” and it was full of over-the-top requests.
Inside, it dictated that he had to take all of his patio furniture down since it was too basic. He had to wipe his fridge out to make room for food, desserts, and flowers.
He had to allow the bridal party to use his bathroom and bedroom for their get-ready photos. The garage was set aside for supplies and decor, so he had to park his cars on the street for the entire weekend.
That’s not even the entire list of rules he was expected to follow in his own home. So, he called up his brother and informed him that he couldn’t abide by all of that.
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He said he had agreed to give his brother the backyard for the wedding because he was financially struggling, and it was meant to be a little event. But here he was, being treated like staff at a venue and not even getting paid for it!
His brother accused him of being dramatic while defending his fiancée as simply organized. His brother stated that they already told all their guests the wedding is happening at his house, and since they can’t afford to find somewhere else, he’s putting them in a bad position.
“Since then, I’ve had family calling me selfish. My aunt said ‘family helps family’, my brother’s fiancée texted me saying she was only trying to make the space wedding-ready, and that I’m making them feel embarrassed for not having money,” he continued.
“I do feel guilty [because] I know a big reason they asked is that they can’t really afford a proper venue right now, and I did originally say yes in a general sense. At the same time, I also know I may be looking at this differently than other people.”
“I’m (and so is my wife) just not the kind of person who likes having big, loud events at my house; we never even host big friends meetings here. We really value our home, our comfort, and all the little details we’ve put into it.”
His brother knows him inside and out, so he is aware that he’s not a fan of a noisy, outlandish event happening in his safe space.
He’s not sure if he is reacting in an unreasonable way, but he really did think this was going to be a tiny event, and not something that would push him and his wife out of their home for a whole weekend.
If his brother and his fiancée are that hard up for cash, they should be saving up until it’s not stressful to have a wedding. And it sounds like his brother’s fiancée is staging a hostile takeover of his home, so no, he shouldn’t let them use it anymore.
His brother’s fiancée is being completely disrespectful and taking advantage of him. Why is he being forced to make sacrifices for their big day?
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
