What on earth would you do if your stepparent confessed to you that they have feelings for you, and they’re still married to your parent?
This 20-year-old girl has unfortunately had a bad feeling for months now that her 44-year-old stepdad had developed feelings for her, and she was hoping that she was reading too much into things.
But yesterday, he confirmed her worst fears. Her stepdad has been with her mom for twelve years, they are married, and they have children together.
She began living with her stepdad and mom four years ago, and nothing was off until the last couple of months. Honestly, she’s hardly interacted with her stepdad since they lack commonalities.
“I even started seeing him as a dad figure; he supported me in everything, paid for my stuff, and since I was a child, he never [made] any distinctions between my siblings and [me],” she explained.
“I was really grateful for all the support he gave my mom and how happy he makes her. In the last month, he started giving me driving classes, and that’s when I started having my suspicions. He became quite touchy with me (like pinching me and teasing me).”
“I thought he was like getting comfortable with me since he also does that to my siblings, and then later started doing things like giving a flower for my birthday and money, and later asking me to not tell my mom so ‘she wouldn’t get the wrong idea,’ and that’s when I pretty [much] knew something was weird.”
A week ago, her stepdad mentioned she reminded him of a girl he used to be in love with when he was younger. He went on to say how he’s old enough to enjoy expressing his feelings and doesn’t like to keep secrets.
Yesterday, he was giving her a driving lesson when he hugged her and stated that he liked her!
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He tried to reason that he wasn’t exactly in love with her, but viewed her as a woman and had a lot of attraction to her. He said it simply happened, and he’s blameless because he’s a human being, after all.
He concluded by saying that having that out in the open would prevent anything from escalating between them. She burst into tears and proceeded to have a full-blown panic attack.
She felt terrible and confused. He attempted to calm her down and reassure her that she shouldn’t be afraid because he wasn’t about to act on his feelings for her.
Her stepdad said nothing between them had to change before requesting that she not tell her mom or anyone else about his feelings for her.
“I feel horrible, I don’t know what I am supposed to do now because I can’t stop thinking about all the interactions we had and overthinking everything,” she added.
“I was so mad and so disappointed, [I’ve known] him since I was a child, and for the first time I felt like I had a present father figure in my life, and now I realize he’s been doing all those good things because he likes me.”
“Now everything is weird and awkward, and I feel really uncomfortable in my own home. I was also mad because of my mom, who had already [suffered] so much with my biological father, and now the man that she loves and does everything for him does this, and through his whole confession, I couldn’t stop thinking about her and my siblings.”
She is aware that this is entirely beyond her control, but she can’t quit sobbing while feeling like an awful daughter. She is thinking that moving out of the house and finding somewhere else to live is the best thing for her to do.
I do agree that moving to a different place would be ideal, so she can limit her interactions with her stepdad, and she should never be alone with him.
She has to tell her mom, too, because she can’t keep this a secret from her, since that would be diabolical (and she should tell her when her stepdad is not around). She shouldn’t feel ashamed because she didn’t do anything wrong at all.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
