This Man Wants To Know If It Was Cruel Of Him To Tell His Girlfriend ‘To Look Into A Boob Job And A Tummy Tuck’
A man recently hopped online to ask if it was, well, cruel of him to tell his girlfriend, “to look into a boob job and tummy tuck.”
After you hear what he has to say though, you can kind of see where he is coming from with all of this and it isn’t from a place of trying to be malicious about her body.
“I love my girlfriend with all my heart but she has some self-esteem issues. She used to be heavier but she lost over 50 pounds and I’m insanely proud of her for that.”
“With her weight loss, she lost pretty much all of her boobs and her stomach has some loose skin.”
“I didn’t know her before the weight loss, so this is all I’ve ever known of her and it doesn’t change in any way how I feel about her.”
“She has a lot of self-esteem issues when it comes to her boobs and belly.”
“Whenever she brings them up, I constantly reassure her that I love her how she is and think she’s beautiful.”
“She occasionally makes jokes about getting a boob job and/or tummy tuck, and I roll with the punches on them.”
“Anyways, over the past couple of weeks, the self-esteem issue has been getting worse.”
“I think with summer coming up she’s being more self-conscious, and she mentioned about 3 times in one day that she hated her stomach and hated her boobs.”
“The first 2 times I reassured her, but the third time I got kind of frustrated and mentioned, “so why not look into the boob job and tummy tuck then?”
Well, I guess that was the wrong answer and she started to cry, and we haven’t talked since.”
“I’m not gonna talk to my friends about this since it’s a sensitive subject…”
Actually, the internet had a lot of valuable advice for him, with one person replying with, “I get why you are trying to be proactive, but maybe she just needs an ear to vent to.”
“When you apologize for upsetting her, tell her that these comments are confusing because, while you find her beautiful no matter what, you also want to see her happy, and you’re not sure if she says these things because she wants you to help, or just to listen.”
“Let her define what your role should be in conversations like this, so you don’t have to guess and potentially make anybody upset.”
Another person added, “There’s a limit to how many times you can hear the same problem and not interject with solutions. I think it’s fair enough at some point to say, find a professional to talk to about this or do something about it.”
“If her solution is to never do anything about it and just endlessly vent to him, its too much emotional labor for him.”
“I think she’s being unknowingly manipulative to make so many suggestions about a tummy tuck and then jumping down his throat when he makes the exact same suggestion.”
“She seems like she wants to wallow and engineer situations to upset herself over.”
“When you’re in a relationship I think you need to be more proactive even if it’s just taking tiny steps in the right direction.”
And this comment kind of made me think a lot about relationship dynamics: “This is a common communication problem between men and women.”
“Women are taught to share their feelings whereas men are taught to fix things. So, women shares their feelings to commiserate and bond but the men see this as an implicit request to fix the situation. Everybody ends up cross taking and getting frustrated.”
You can view the original post here. What do you think? How would you handle this? Let me know in the comments below.
Bre is a female millennial go getter residing in New York. One part entrepreneur, one part geek, she obtained her degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology.
She has held some exciting roles in both fashion as a designer working for brands like Victoria’s Secret and Henri Bendel, as well as in ad tech working for publishers like Ziff Davis.
Today she operates Chip Chick Media which reaches millions of women each month.
Bre is passionate about teaching women how to build a business and be an entrepreneur, in addition to keeping her readers informed of the latest technology trends and exciting products to improve their lifestyles.
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