She Freaked Out On Her Husband After Recently Learning He Ran A Background Check On Her Before They Got Married And She’s Asking The Internet If Her Blow Up Makes Her A Jerk
A woman got married to her husband 3 years ago now, and she just learned a pretty big secret he’s been keeping from her.
Recently, she went on vacation with her husband and his family, and when they all wanted to spend a day doing activities she didn’t want to partake in, she decided to remain at their vacation home while they went out.
Since she didn’t have her laptop with her, her husband gave her his to use.
“I made a folder with my name and I was searching for it when I found another folder with my name,” she explained.
“The folder was full of reports on me, my family (including extended family), and two of my childhood friends.”
“I read as much of the reports as I could before my husband and his family came home for the day. At first, I was just hurt he would do something like this without talking to me first but as I read more and started finding out things about my family and friends that I never even knew, I started to get angry.”
“It’s hard to put it into words but I felt like I had gone cold all over but also like it wasn’t me reading these things.”
As soon as her husband returned to the vacation home, she absolutely freaked out on him, and she did it all right in front of his loved ones.
He attempted to brush it all off, and even his cousin added it was no big deal to run background checks in their family.
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No matter what her husband or his family members said, she could not calm herself down. Her husband tried to pull her away into the bedroom they were sharing to discuss everything in private, but she refused.
She said to her husband that she would be leaving right then and there. Her husband then asked her to not leave, and instead, he offered to.
Given the fact that the vacation home is owned by his mom and dad, she did not feel comfortable staying in the house while he had to go somewhere else.
In the end, she went to a local hotel, where she stayed the night. The following day, she flew home and so did he, even though the vacation was not over.
She’s now left wondering if blowing up was a jerk thing to do.
Here’s what the internet had to say.
“I don’t know your relationship but if this was me and funnily enough I am about to get married in a few months time, I’d feel massively hurt. I pride myself on being honest about flaws and all with my partner and perhaps you’re the same?”
“If your husband is IDK royalty, a celebrity, high up in the world, I’d be more inclined to understand his reason for this, hell I’d even expect it but I’m under the impression that this isn’t the case.”
“It makes a little sense if it’s only on your spouse, because some people may have been cheated on in the past, manipulated, etc. It’s still a little weird. But extending it to ALL OF YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS…”
“I probably would’ve freaked out as well. I suggest you talk to your spouse about any trust issues and such he may have, and try to get him some help.”
“If he had limited the search to just you, and perhaps immediate family, that would be one thing. The fact that he did it for your extended family is a little disconcerting…”
“In this day and age, I think that getting a background check done on anybody you’re serious about having a long-term relationship with is smart, but leave the extended family out of it.”
“My current wife ran a background check on me before we moved in together. Partly because there were minor children involved on her side and I’m sure she didn’t want some creeper moving in.”
“She did it to protect herself and the kids, and with that reasoning, I was fine with it.”
“I can tell that one of the biggest reasons for your rage has nothing to do with you at all. It’s the violation of your friends and family and the delving into their secrets, some of which are probably shameful, that seems to upset you the most.”
“It feels perverse or voyeuristic to dig that deeply into the lives of others without them knowing. It’s gross and so upsetting.”
“I don’t think I could look at my spouse the same ever again, knowing they would do this.”
“This is beyond a normal background check. My cousin runs them on people she dates early on but never would keep it in a file or have such detail on family and friends.”
You can read the rest of the advice the internet had here.
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