This Woman Lost Her Husband And Had To Tell His Mistress He Passed Away: But, Their Story Runs Much Deeper Than Just Cheating
Losing a partner is unimaginable. After suffering the loss, you have to deal with family, coordinate the funeral, and somehow find time for yourself to grieve.
One woman named Bridgette Davis had to do all of this, plus one more shocking task.
“When your husband of ten years dies and you have to tell his mistress,” Bridgette said in a now-viral TikTok. Can you imagine?
She also shared a screenshot of her conversation with the mistress. The “other woman” shared her slew of emotions with Bridgette.
“…I can’t believe this. I am losing it. I can’t do this again; he promised me,” the mistress said in a flurry of messages.
She had the nerve to ask Bridgette if she could visit her husband’s grave. To this, Bridgette simply responded, “No.”
The TikTok video reached 2.4 million people and gained nearly one hundred and sixty thousand likes.
Some commenters agreed with Bridgette’s decision to deny the mistress visitation rights, while others believed it was petty.
TikTok; pictured above is Bridgette
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“It seems like you told her no just so you could be mean to her and not let her visit. Either be nice or move on,” commented one user.
“You should tell her where he is buried. She lost a love, too. He wrecked your relationship, not her,” added a second user.
Regardless, it is impossible to understand the full story of Bridgette’s marriage from a ten-second TikTok video. So, many users begged her for a “storytime,” and Bridgette did post multiple follow-up videos detailing her whirlwind of a marriage.
“Although putting my dead husband’s mistress on blast all over social media does sound almost therapeutic, I can’t. The reason I can’t is because I’m an adult who is trying to raise two humans on my own… and I do not want to cause any further trauma in their life,” she prefaced.
“So, for now, my storytime will have to come in the form of cliff notes,” Bridgette continued before explaining her reasoning– which dates back years– behind informing her husband’s mistress of his death.
“Of course, one of them being that I felt she had a right to know. At that point, I did not have anything against her. And, I knew that the man who I married versus the man she was dating were two completely different people,” she said.
For context, Bridgette’s husband had struggled with mental health issues throughout his entire life. Then, in 2017, he was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder.
According to the Mayo Clinic, bipolar disorder “is a mental health condition that causes extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression).”
There are various subtypes of bipolar, and bipolar II generally means that “you have had at least one major depressive episode and at least one hypomanic episode. But, you have never had a manic episode.”
After Bridgette’s husband received his diagnosis, he sought genetic testing to understand what medications would work best for his body. This led him to change his prescription and began a timeline of events that built up to his passing.
“In November of 2017, I found some questionable things on his phone that I ended up confronting him about,” Bridgette said.
She explained how the confrontation did not go smoothly, resulting in a significant argument. Her husband even left for the evening.
“He came home the next morning at 5 a.m. and knocked on our deck door, asking if I would go outside to talk to him. I agreed, and, while outside, he explained how badly he had been struggling,” Bridgette explained.
During this conversation, her husband also disclosed that he had brought a handgun with him after leaving their home the night prior. He had planned on taking his life.
“But, he said he was unable to pull the trigger. He told me he really wanted to get better and thanked me for always sticking with him; for not giving up on him,” Bridgette said.
Mental illness is never easy on the person directly affected by the disorder or surrounding family and friends. Bridgette’s husband promised to “get better” and that he would do whatever work was necessary. Still, mental health recovery is rarely ever simple.
“Fast forward two more weeks, and I found more questionable things on his phone. I questioned him again, and he told me I was crazy, that I was ruining our marriage,” Bridgette said.
After hitting this dead end, she decided to look into her suspicions once and for all. To say she was disappointed in what she found is an understatement.
“It was so much worse than I could have ever imagined. And because of what I found, I wanted to kick him out. But, I was so scared due to what happened two weeks prior that I didn’t,” Bridgette finished.
The following day, her husband went to work like usual– or, so she thought. Bridgette later learned that her husband had hopped on a flight to Mexico after he did not return home.
“I knew something was wrong, but I was also really hurt. So, I just took the time to let him cool down and to try and let myself cool down as well,” she explained.
But, days began to pass, and Bridgette got a bad feeling. She reached out to her husband’s parents and even called the police. Everyone thought the situation would resolve itself. Still, once day five rolled around, Bridgette decided to go to the police station.
She begged police officers to track his phone, but they still denied her request. Later that night, though, she finally heard from her husband.
“I got a text from him letting me know he was in Mexico. He told me that he really messed up and got in some trouble. On top of that, he let me know that our money was gone. Our bank account– our savings, our kids’ college funds– everything was wiped,” Bridgette recalled.
After clearing out their accounts, her husband then went on to charge his work credit card.
“He was an engineer at a very well-known company and likely did not have a job anymore,” Bridgette said.
While processing the loss of her entire life savings, Bridgette also had to deal with her husband still wanting to do something bad to himself.
“He kept telling me how sorry he was and that he loved me. He also said that if I was going to divorce him, I should let him know…” Bridgette said.
She knew that none of this was healthy.
“The person I was talking to that day was not the person who I married,” she said.
Still, Bridgette wanted to get her husband home safe despite her personal feelings. After speaking to her husband’s parents, they were able to get him a flight home on one condition. As soon as he entered the country, Bridgette’s husband needed to check himself into a mental health treatment center.
After arriving back in the United States, her husband did go to the treatment center. And, Bridgette thought things were going well. But, on the third day, she said, “things changed.”
“He decided he did not want me to have access to his information anymore, and he wanted to go home,” she explained. Her husband was no longer required to stay at the hospital once his seventy-two-hour hold was up.
And, despite her feelings of wanting him to stay, Bridgette realized that she could not force a person to change.
“If someone does not want to get better, then they are not going to,” she said.
After her husband decided to leave, Bridgette had to make a choice for her family. She decided that her husband could not return to their house for the sake of her children.
“I could not let my daughters– who were nine and seven at the time– watch their dad slowly kill himself,” Bridgette said.
Her husband ended up staying with his parents for a six-month mental health leave of absence. He was able to keep his job and continue to financially provide for the family.
Over the months, Bridgette still barely spoke to her husband but heard that things were apparently great from his parents. Unfortunately, once the couple spoke, she saw right through their claims. He also told Bridgette about a new partner.
“He was very open with me and told me that he had met somebody on a website. Obviously, I had to re-evaluate everything because this was not the direction I saw it going in,” Bridgette said.
The ups and downs of mental illness only continued from here. At one point, even after disclosing his mistress, Bridgette’s husband asked to go to marriage counseling. He claimed he was no longer speaking to his mistress and that she was “absolutely insane.”
Bridgette also opened up to her husband one day shortly after and said she never wanted to receive a call that he had passed.
“He said, literally sitting in the same spot I am in right now, that he was doing everything he could to make sure that did not happen,” Bridgette said.
She could see that his condition was worsening and tried telling his parents. They continued to deny her claims and called her insane.
Then, Bridgette and her husband’s last weekend together as a family ended up being memorial day. She explained how her husband had invited her and her daughters to his parent’s cabin a week prior. But, once they arrived, she could see he was not doing well.
She had told her daughters that if they became uncomfortable at any point during the weekend, they could use a code word to leave.
Well, one afternoon, while Bridgette was talking and laughing with her husband on the deck, her daughter went upstairs.
“My nine-year-old came upstairs and used the code word. So, we packed up, and we left. I obviously had no idea that would be the last time we saw him,” Bridgette said through tears.
About a week later, her husband’s mom finally called Bridgette and told her she was right. Her husband had isolated himself and slept for thirty-six hours straight. His parents also agreed that he needed to go to in-patient treatment.
Then, on the afternoon of June 10th, Bridgette received a visit from the police. She learned that her worst fear had come true.
“As soon as I saw the police, I knew. They told me my husband had passed away, and I lost it as any normal person would,” Bridgette said.
Understandably, Bridgette and her daughters were shattered. She described the following week as one massive blur of emotions. And, it did not get any easier after the funeral.
“I did not have any desire to find out about his life before death. I just wanted to heal myself and my kids in the best way possible without ruining their image of him. He was an incredible husband and father when he was healthy,” Bridgette explained.
For this reason, she was not looking forward to obtaining his cellphone from his parents. Once she did, though, she learned more about the mistress and that she had already lost a husband.
Learning this made her question the mistress and her role in her husband’s death. But, after thinking about it more, she settled on one realization.
“There is nobody in this world who is responsible for another person taking their own life,” Bridgette said.
Since sharing her story, it is understandable why Bridgette might not want her husband’s mistress to visit his grave. While she does not fault the mistress for his death, there are clearly many complicated and unhealed wounds surrounding his passing.
Bridgette’s story has also attracted unprecedented attention on the TikTok platform. Her six-part story series, accompanied by numerous follow-up videos, share even more information about her and her husband’s journey over the last few years.
To learn more about Bridgette’s family, and to show some support in this heartbreaking time, visit her TikTok account here.
@bridgettedavis08 There is a lot to unpack here.
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