He Promised To Help Pay For His Stepson’s College Tuition, But That Was Before He Got Divorced And He’s Now Refusing To Do That Anymore

morrowlight - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
morrowlight - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

This 51-year-old guy was married to his 47-year-old ex-wife, Kate, for eight years. But they got divorced about two years ago simply because they did not really get along anymore. According to him, the decision to split up was also mutual.

But, when they were married, he became a stepfather to Kate’s 19-year-old son named Troy– who would split time between his and Kate’s home, as well as Troy’s father’s home.

Now, he claimed to have gotten along pretty well with Troy, despite the teen being a bit moody and having a pretty volatile relationship with his bio parents. Still, he figured that was typical of most teenagers.

Regardless, he did not think it was his place to get involved in those conflicts since it seemed clear that Troy did not view him as a father figure. Plus, he didn’t try to have a larger place in Troy’s life aside from being Kate’s husband.

“I treated him kindly and with respect, would help him out with anything he reasonably asked me, and also pitched in with errands like giving him rides, helping him with homework, and fixing his bike,” he recalled.

“But for the most part, I left the parenting to his two actual parents.”

Well, just two days ago, he received a phone call from Troy that really sent him for a loop.

That was the first time he had heard from Troy since the divorce, and he learned that his former stepson was home from college for the summer and wanted to have lunch with him.

Now, he was actually happy to grab a bite with Troy and did meet up with the teen. But, once the lunch started to wrap up, he was hit with a major request. Apparently, he was asked to help pay for Troy’s next year at college.

morrowlight – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

Troy must have found out that, back when he was still married to Kate, he had promised to help pay for Troy’s college.

“Which I did. But we divorced before that happened,” he explained.

“Kate had lost her job a few months before, and Troy didn’t know how he would pay for next year.”

So anyway, at this lunch, he apologized that Troy was experiencing some financial hardship. However, he was forced to tell the teen that things were different now, and he was no longer married to Kate. Due to that, he essentially told Troy that he no longer played the same role in their life.

“I’m happy to keep a relationship with Troy, but something like paying for his college is just not the role I have in his life anymore,” he reasoned.

Troy just did not understand his point, though, and actually told him off before storming out of the restaurant.

Then, a couple of hours later, he received a furious call from his ex-wife, Kate. She actually accused him of only caring about money and not about Troy.

He was not going to let his ex-wife’s comment fly, though, and he snapped back at her.

“Actually genius, if you were paying attention, you would see you have it backward. I haven’t heard from Troy in two years, and within an hour, he is asking me for a huge sum of money,” he told Kate.

“I told Troy I’m happy to have a relationship with him. However, he threw that back in my face and told me to go [freak] myself when I told him I can’t give him the money.”

Despite his explanation, his ex-wife just kept yelling at him on the phone. So, he was eventually forced to tell her to leave him alone and never contact him again.

Yet, ever since this whole situation unfolded, he’s still been left wondering whether going back on his word and refusing to contribute to his former stepson’s college tuition really made him a jerk or not.

Was it fair for Troy to request college tuition money from him out of the blue? If his ex-wife really expected his help, shouldn’t that have been discussed in their divorce agreement? How would you have reacted if you were in his shoes?

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

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Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing ... More about Katharina Buczek

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