He Wants A Divorce From His Wife For What She Just Admitted In A Therapy Session
This 40-year-old man and his wife, 37, have been married for the last 12 years.
Throughout that time, she has been a constant, reliable person for him, and they had a great marriage.
However, this changed once they started going to therapy together.
One of his friends was struggling with his mental health, and he and his wife were concerned about him.
After two years in therapy, his friend’s mental health seemed to greatly improve.
His wife works as a veterinarian, so she is constantly overwhelmed with her job.
Unfortunately, she struggles with depression and anxiety.
Since she was having such a difficult time, he suggested that maybe she give therapy a shot, and she took his advice.
Six months later, his wife said that she was enjoying therapy and that it was beneficial for her.
F8 \ Suport Ukraine – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
She thought it would be a good idea for him to go to therapy with her, and even though he was skeptical, he didn’t think there was any harm in giving it a try, so he said that he’d go.
Their first two therapy sessions went smoothly, and he noticed that their therapist (who was a different therapist than the one his wife sees on her own) was accurate about how his wife doesn’t trust people.
Sadly, his wife didn’t have a stable or healthy family dynamic when she was a child.
A moment that really affected her was when her father sold their family dog, who she felt was her only friend at the time.
Also, she struggled with an eating disorder in her past and nearly hurt herself as a teenager.
In his opinion, his wife now seems much more emotionally healthy, and she’s a wonderful mother to their two children.
For homework, their therapist assigned them the Big 5 Personality Test.
It was extensive and had tons of questions, and during another session, he and his wife shared their results with their therapist.
“My trust of others was a 34, and hers was an 8, which is very low. He asked her to tell him what makes her distrust people. She said people were very two-faced and only do what benefitted them, and she felt like she has a disadvantage in life because of her morals,” he said.
He thinks it’s odd that his wife is so sweet to people despite not trusting others.
His wife is helpful when others need it, and one of her friends has said that she is trustworthy and can seek guidance from her because she cares about their happiness and keeps secrets when they request that she not tell anyone specific information.
Plus, his wife helps stray animals even when she’s not being paid to do so, and she’s devastated whenever an animal dies.
“She says she does it because she feels extreme guilt if she doesn’t help others, but she feels people don’t feel guilt hurting her, which is why she prefers animals to humans. Then the topic of our marriage and trust came up, and she was super tightlipped about it at first but then admitted she didn’t trust me all that much,” he explained.
According to this wife, she decided to marry him because he’d been upfront about wanting marriage for what he could get out of it.
She continued, saying that she hates people who pretend to be sweet and caring before turning around and stabbing others in the back. In her view, she’d rather be around people who are blunt about who they are because she values honesty.
He was stunned by this because even though he agreed with her assessment that he is the type of person who tells the truth, he also believes that he’s a sweet and giving person.
Yet, his wife didn’t seem to believe that he was.
However, she told him that it was okay with her because she preferred that he be honest about who he was as a person.
“She also admitted she took out the ‘in sickness and in health’ part of our nuptials because she felt like I would divorce her if she got cancer, but she was okay with that because it would kill her to expect it and then be disappointed, but she felt like she knew where she stood with me,” he shared.
After hearing all of this, he’s been going over it in his head and is deeply upset.
Later on, when they were home, he questioned her about why she married him in the first place if this was how she truly felt about him.
In response, she told him that he worked hard and was truthful, and she believed that the majority of people are mean yet pretend to be kind people in order to get what they want.
She admired that he wasn’t this way, so this made her believe that she could understand him since he didn’t seem to have any tricks up his sleeve. It made her feel comfortable to be around him.
After that, he said that if she only thought he was truthful but not a good person, they should end their marriage.
His wife was angry when he said this, assuring him that they had a great, healthy marriage.
She continued, reminding him that they mesh together well and do a wonderful job raising their children together.
In her view, what she said in therapy wasn’t that big of a deal.
However, from his perspective, he feels like he just discovered that his wife doesn’t view him as a good person, and their entire marriage now feels like a sham.
He clarified that he loves his wife, but during a therapy session, “She said she thinks she loves me, but also admitted she doesn’t know if she can love humans, as ‘humans are generally selfish and destructive and will take advantage of people weaker than themselves.'”
Now, he’s concerned about whether or not his wife has love for their children, and he’s thinking of divorcing her.
On the outside, she acts as if she loves them, but it’s difficult for him to know for sure because she bends over backward to help people whom she’s concerned will do her wrong one day.
What advice would you give him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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