Her Husband Stole $900 From Her Savings To Pay His Ex For His Kids’ Medical Expenses, And She Wants To Break Up Over It Because She Feels Like He Keeps Choosing His Ex Over Her
This 35-year-old woman has been in a relationship with her boyfriend, also 35, for nearly seven years.
She has a child from another relationship, and her boyfriend has two children with his ex-wife, and they have one child together.
Unfortunately, her boyfriend has never established clear boundaries with his ex, and there has always been a lot of drama and tension between her boyfriend and his ex.
Because of the constant conflict and disagreement, he and his ex-wife have gone to court many times to try to find some resolution.
His ex-wife is an incredibly controlling person, and he doesn’t do anything to put a stop to her antics.
Due to his ex making decisions that he has no control over, she and her children have been put in uncomfortable positions on a regular basis.
Many times, her boyfriend’s ex-wife has signed up their two children for different activities, enrolled them in camps, and scheduled appointments for them, all to take place an hour away in the city she lives in, while they have custody of the children, without giving them notice in advance.
Plus, his ex forces him to drive to her for pick-ups and drop-offs of the children.
“She calls multiple times a day, every day, to ask the kids what they eat, watch, and how much physical activity they’ve had. She tracks their location and questions/instructs them and their dad about it. She also makes decisions and sends him the bill,” she said.
Photo 99744437 © Annanahabed – Dreamstime.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Her boyfriend’s ex has billed him for two sets of orthodontics for both of their children, as well as for appointments with chiropractors, tutors, and private coaches.
Despite most of this behavior being against the custody order stipulations, her boyfriend chooses not to take any action against his ex because he wants to keep the peace as much as possible.
Due to all of this chaos, they are unable to organize trips as a family, so she is only able to organize outings with her two children.
“He also lies to me consistently about things he has agreed to for her. We have been to therapy. He has claimed he is working on it every time that I try to explain how this affects me and my two children, who live with us full-time. Or he just goes completely silent and refuses to speak (he claims he is unable and that he just shuts down),” she explained.
His ex-wife is now remarried and is a stay-at-home mother and housewife.
It’s clear that his ex and her new husband aren’t financially struggling because they recently built their third home.
In 2020, her boyfriend lost his job, and since then, he hasn’t been able to find another stable job.
While he did earn a degree at that time and worked for a little bit, he ended up resigning from the position he found because his work hours conflicted with his custody. During the summer, his children were involved in a lot of activities, so he needed to drive them back and forth.
In addition, her boyfriend brings their child to school, and he does most of the housework throughout the week while she works.
She told him that she could employ him for the full-time business that she both owns and operates so that he would be able to earn an income but still spend time at home when needed, but he rejected her offer and has continued job hunting on his own.
Her business has been successful, and she makes a decent amount of money, but they still have a tight budget, and she works more hours than she would prefer.
Throughout the entire relationship with her boyfriend, she has been honest and upfront about where she is financially.
She has never felt like her boyfriend has been dishonest with her about his financial situation, either.
However, because of how he struggles to maintain boundaries with his ex-wife, she has kept some of their accounts separate just to be safe.
In the past, her boyfriend has asked if she could list him and his children on her health insurance, but she refused to do so.
She also doesn’t help him pay his child support.
“I keep a health savings account for my children and myself. Recently, he asked me if he could use my health savings account to make a $100 payment to his children’s orthodontist with my health savings. I was very hesitant, but I said yes. Once he had the account information, he spent over $900 and did not tell me. I found out from my monthly statement. After a year of high medical expenses, this was the last of my savings in that account,” she said.
After discovering what her boyfriend did, she asked him about it.
His response was that because he listed her and her children on his health insurance in 2018 (when she was taking a year off from work after giving birth to their daughter), she owed him this money.
Understandably, she was furious with his explanation.
Then, he made accusations that she was being unfaithful to him.
She couldn’t deal with the situation anymore and told him that she wanted to break up.
In her view, her boyfriend is prioritizing his ex-wife over her, and it feels like she and her children are always being pushed to the side.
Her boyfriend told her that she was “mentally unstable” for telling him she wanted to end the relationship.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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