Her Husband Wants To Stay Friends With The Woman He Spent Two Years Cheating On Her With And Nearly Left Her For
Three months ago, this 42-year-old woman learned that her 44-year-old husband was having an affair.
As for how she found out, he actually confessed this to her. His affair partner was a woman he has been close friends with since he was back in school.
“The affair lasted almost two years, and he was very conflicted with whether he wanted to give up on our marriage or stay and work on it,” she explained.
“We have been together over 20 years and have three young children, I did not want to give up on it and encouraged him to stay.”
“He stayed, and although his reasons for staying are the children, we both have been working hard on rebuilding a new relationship.”
She and her husband have been going to counseling together, and she believes they have a much stronger connection than ever after experiencing this.
She is really trying, and their marriage is going pretty great so far. In one of their very first sessions, her husband discussed his feelings about his affair partner in depth.
He admitted that he still loves her and wants her to remain in his life in some way. Their marriage counselor spoke up and pointed out that if he still has feelings for this other woman, this means it’s inappropriate to include her in his life.
“I thought with time he would simply forget about her and shift focus to what’s important (i.e., his family, his wife),” she said.
SERGEI – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“But last week, he brought her up again and wanted to know if he can reconcile with her and have a friendship with her. I said I wasn’t ready, I’m hoping to stall this until he stops asking.”
Her husband said to her that he got it, and he knew it was probably way too soon to reintroduce his affair partner to his life.
She is very concerned that if she never permits her husband to talk to this woman again, he may end up speaking to this woman behind her back and in secret.
While she sees that her husband is being very committed to remaining honest with her, she knows it would be foolish to think that could change in the future.
She thinks as her husband stops feeling so guilty for cheating, he might just only be focused on his affair partner once more.
“As I said, his main reason for staying is the kids, but I’m keen on having a strong relationship with us; that can’t be possible if she is reintroduced into his life; his feelings for her will probably come flooding back if they have gone at all,” she continued.
“I don’t understand how he can’t see that. I don’t know whether continually blocking him will breed resentment over time.”
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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