Her Boyfriend Wants To Have A Baby With His Ex, So She Issued Him An Ultimatum

Imagine dating a guy for two years, buying a home together, and thinking you were both on the same page about not wanting kids, only to find out your boyfriend misses his ex's child and wants to have another baby with her.

That's the nightmare situation this 40-year-old woman is in, and now, she's threatening to end her relationship over it.

To paint the picture, she and her boyfriend, who's also 40, have been together for the past two years, and their first six months of dating were "absolute bliss." Their dynamic was adventurous and respectful, and after only six months, they decided to buy a house together.

Well, once they purchased their property, she noticed a change in her boyfriend. They suddenly stopped going on adventures and being affectionate, meaning they haven't been sleeping together for about 75% of their relationship.

"We would spend every weekend working on the house, so I told myself we were just plain exhausted. I did this for 9 months," she recalled.

Eventually, she really wanted to talk about their lack of affection, too, but she couldn't bring herself to broach the topic. However, her boyfriend ultimately brought it up instead.

During their discussion, he admitted to being depressed and swore it wasn't because of her. Then, one month later, she found out what had really been causing his sour mood.

Apparently, his ex-girlfriend reached out and asked whether he'd like to see her child, whom he'd helped raise for five years. To be clear, her boyfriend is not the kid's biological father, but the kid still views him as a father figure and wanted to see him.

That's when her boyfriend opened up further about his depression. He claimed to think that his mental health was suffering because he felt like his ex's kid was missing from his life.

deagreez - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

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To her, the strangest part about this was how her boyfriend had never really mentioned his ex's child. They'd just briefly spoken about kids in the past, and he seemed pretty certain that he didn't want to have any of his own.

Regardless, she tried to be "cool" about her boyfriend seeing his ex's kid again, despite the huge bomb being dropped on her out of nowhere. She simply believed she'd be a jerk if she kept them from reuniting, so she allowed him to start spending some time with the kid.

"I asked about his ex, and he didn't have anything redeeming to say about her. He mainly described her as 'toxic AF,'" she added.

Nonetheless, one month later, her boyfriend revealed that he planned to spend an entire weekend with his ex's child, meaning he'd be staying at his ex's house. This started to make her uneasy, too, but it seemed like her boyfriend wasn't going to let her say no.

That's why, in the end, she shared her feelings yet still told her boyfriend that she trusted him.

"And while he was away playing happy family with his ex, this is where I start to really unravel. I stayed at home crying uncontrollably for days, feeling pretty worthless, hating every moment of what was happening," she explained.

"The upside of this, I guess, is that it inspired me to try to get help in the form of a therapist."

Then, within another week or two, things seemed like they were going to change. Her boyfriend's ex supposedly found her social media accounts, which are filled with happy couple photos. This caused his ex to give him a call and yell at him, saying they were meant to tie the knot and start a family together.

According to her, the outburst didn't make any sense, since her boyfriend had told his ex about her. Nonetheless, his ex decided to cut contact and refuse to let her boyfriend see the kid again, which devastated him.

Sadly, though, that was far from the end of this dramatic saga. It only took a few more months for her boyfriend's ex to reach out again, apologize for "overreacting," and try to get him and the child back together again. His ex said he was a "great influence" on her kid and would allow them to spend time together once a month.

This made her boyfriend thrilled, but she was quite the opposite. And she tried telling him that, if he moves forward with having his ex's kid in his life again, then he needs to set some boundaries.

"He tells me that he told his ex that he is only there for the kid and not getting back together with her. I highly doubt he has explained this properly, but he promises me he has," she detailed.

Unfortunately, it only took two more visits between her boyfriend and the kid for an even bigger bomb to be dropped on her relationship. One day, he just came home, shared how his ex planned to undergo IVF, and asked him to be the donor!

"I explode at this. I tell him that this is obviously a trap to get him back in her life forever," she stated.

Her boyfriend, on the other hand, argued otherwise. He claimed that it simply made sense for him to be the father of his ex's second child since they have so much history, and he's basically already the father of his ex's eldest.

Moreover, he felt that this could be his only chance to be a dad "for real," and he promised that being his ex's donor didn't mean he'd get back together with her.

"I called him a naive idiot and told him that, if he goes through with it, we are done," she vented.

Now, with their whole relationship on the rocks, she's questioning whether giving her boyfriend that ultimatum was justified or actually makes her selfish.

Do you agree that her boyfriend is underplaying this whole situation? Would you leave your partner over something like this? What should she do? 

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