She Had A Miscarriage, Then Had To File For Bankruptcy, So She Wants To Leave Her Husband

Millions of women in the United States struggle with infertility, and sadly, this 34-year-old woman is one of them. She and her husband had been trying to start a family ever since they tied the knot, and eventually, they even began going to a fertility clinic.

This caused her to finally get pregnant, but tragically, she lost her baby just six weeks later. And instead of having her back following that heartbreaking experience, her husband was so emotionally neglectful that now, she wants to leave him.

For some background, she has been married to her husband, who's 43 years old, for three years now, and he has three kids, between the ages of 18 and 21, who live with them.

Again, they'd battled infertility basically since their wedding day, and that tough time was made even more difficult by some unexpected events.

First, she was laid off from her job in tech. Then, her husband had a stroke, which left her to pick up the pieces alone.

"During his stroke, I took on everything because he literally couldn't, and that was fine. We took a pretty major hit financially and depleted our savings and racked up quite a bit of debt," she recalled.

However, this past June, things started to turn around slightly. She was working full-time again, and her husband had made a 90% recovery. So, they began seeking help at a fertility clinic.

According to her, though, her husband's contributions around the house hadn't gone back to normal, despite his significant recovery. She was still doing everything alone, from cleaning and cooking to managing their finances.

"And anytime I asked for help, it was either dismissed or turned into an argument where he'd shut me out and give me the silent treatment, then have the audacity to expect [to sleep with me] later that night with no apology or accountability," she explained.

Miljan Zivkovi - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

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Regardless, she found out she was pregnant in late May, but six weeks later, she lost the baby, and her miscarriage "broke" her. She was in pain, couldn't get out of bed for an entire week, and wasn't taking proper care of herself, like by eating.

She spent about four weeks out of work after the loss, and obviously, she was extremely depressed. Yet, her husband didn't do anything at all while she was clearly out of commission.

Their laundry and dishes piled up, and her husband acted as if life was business as usual. One night, he even asked her if she was "okay," and when she admitted that she wasn't and hadn't eaten anything, he simply went on his phone.

"He didn't even offer to get me food. To make it worse, when I finally got up and said I'm making myself something, he asked me to make something for him, too, knowing I was still bleeding and in pain," she revealed.

The depression she felt after her miscarriage took a few more months to fade, and around the same time, she began to realize how "emotionally neglectful" her husband had been throughout the whole experience.

On top of that, she also found out he'd been financially abusive by failing to mention they were $15,000 behind on their taxes. Rather than being honest about their financial situation, he actually just lied about having enough money to go on vacation.

Spoiler alert: he didn't, and she was forced to max out all of her credit cards.

That's why, even though she's just starting to "wake up" from her depression, she and her husband are now filing for bankruptcy. And she's at her wits' end.

She recently sat her husband down to give him an ultimatum, stating they needed to attend marriage counseling. Nonetheless, he totally dismissed her concerns, accused her of overreacting, and thought their money troubles weren't "a big deal."

Once he reacted that way (and refused to go to counseling), she seriously thought about packing up her things and leaving him. But two more weeks filled with silent treatment passed by, and her husband wound up apologizing and saying he'd attend counseling with her.

Initially, she believed he was genuinely apologetic as well. Unfortunately, her husband ruined that by immediately asking to sleep with her afterward.

This has left her feeling like he's only motivated to improve their relationship because he wants to sleep with her, not because he's remorseful about the lack of care he provided after her miscarriage. And honestly, that thought has made her not want to work on mending their marriage anymore.

"But I also feel guilty because he's a good person, goes to work every day, doesn't cheat, etc., but he's the definition of emotionally unavailable and neglectful," she vented.

Now, she can't help but wonder if she should "give up" and leave her husband without trying to make their relationship work first.

Could you continue with a spouse who wasn't there for you during such a dark time? Does she deserve better? What advice would you give her?

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