His Parents Put His Disabled Sister In A Nursing Home And Now Want To A Second Chance With Him

If your parents spent your entire life acting like you didn't matter because they were too busy with your disabled sibling, only to then place them in a nursing home and magically remember you exist, what would you do?

Would you be open to forgiving your parents, or would you want nothing to do with them for how horribly they treated you for years on end?

This 23-year-old man has a sister who is only a year older than he is. When he was just a couple of weeks old, his sister started experiencing seizures and other strange medical mysteries doctors couldn't figure out.

His sister suffered from brain damage and then needed to have machinery and medication in order to keep her alive. She was no longer able to sit up, swallow, talk, or do a single thing for herself.

"They never really learned why it happened, but overnight, they realized they would need to make some changes. I started spending most days with my grandparents, who are now in their 70s," he explained.

"They would let me come home to sleep, but that was it. My mom quit her job so she could be home full-time with my sister, and my dad changed his job so he had regular hours and could devote the other hours he had to my sister, too."

"My parents were vehemently against respite care or any services that would give them a break. They were offered so much help that they turned down, and this made them horrifically [bad] parents to me."

He was unable to open up to his parents about his feelings, and when they did pay him attention, it was only to tell him that his sister needed them, so he had to ask them whatever question he had later on.

Except that time would never come. They acted like he didn't really exist, or wasn't worth their energy. One day, when he asked his mom to attend his parent-teacher conference, she snapped at him that he was selfish and a brat.

Aleksandr - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

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His teacher wanted it to be mandatory that his mom or dad show up, and his dad had already replied to leave him alone when he asked.

"My parents never celebrated my birthday, and they never paid attention to my grades or how I was doing personally. My grandparents took over the birthday stuff, but once I was independent enough in my parents' eyes, they wanted me home and doing stuff around the house so they'd have help," he added.

His parents made his grandparents stop caring for him, which was really sad. He then grew to resent his parents for keeping the only people who showed him any love away.

Then, when he turned 17 and approached his high school graduation, he and his parents got into a blowout fight. They tried to make him stay home to help, and he promptly freaked out and said he was done.

They stopped speaking after that, and on his 18th birthday, his grandparents helped him move out of his mom and dad's house. He has not said a word to them since then, which was five years ago.

"My parents recently (about a month ago) put my sister into a nursing facility for young disabled people. She'll be there for the rest of her life, and now my parents remember they have a son, and they want to repair our relationship, and they told me they will be trying," he continued.

"They are trying, but I'm also ignoring them. I don't want to let them fix it after all this time. But I'm not sure what the right move is here."

"My wish is for them to leave me alone and for them to realize [that] to me, they are parents in name only, and there has been no apology or admitting they were wrong. They just act like they can now be more involved and fix things because my sister isn't there anymore."

He's left wondering if it's worth trying to let his parents back into his life.

His parents abandoned him, and there's no way around that tragic fact. It might be helpful for him to write out his feelings and let them know, because they can't just drop back into his life and pretend they never hurt him.

Yes, it's difficult to care for a disabled child, but his parents shouldn't have treated them the way that they did, and that's why I don't think they really deserve another chance at making things right with him. Why did they wait so long?

What advice do you have for him?

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