Two years ago, this 30-year-old woman thought she’d hit the jackpot with a man she met online. Instead, he turned out to be a liar leading a double life who had been married for 10 years!
The guy, 33, was a handsome Korean who’d relocated to Europe for work. They matched on a dating app and chatted for weeks before they even met up in person, and from their messages alone, she was smitten.
“The conversations felt deep and super sweet, romantic and caring. He acted so serious and so genuine that I let myself believe it was something real,” she recalled.
And once they finally went out, her feelings only grew. He was shy and gentle, which made her feel safe, and honestly, she started to think he might even be “the one.”
So, despite their language barrier, she and the guy began seeing each other for a while. It helped that she was a former English teacher, and they met up every single week for six months.
“He talked about engagement, moving countries so we could live together, and our future. I felt like I’d found someone who really saw me. Then, all of it fell apart in the most insane way,” she detailed.
It all started when she went to visit one of her friends, who lived in a tiny mountain village with just one grocery store and one bar. While there, they decided to hit the bar with some acquaintances, and she opened up about her budding relationship with the man.
Apparently, everyone was extremely happy for her, too, and they even recorded a brief video to say hi to her “Korean boyfriend” and invite him to their New Year’s celebration.
She thought the whole thing was “harmless” and sent the video to him. He, on the other hand, proceeded to have a meltdown and was super jealous that she’d been drinking with other men.
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The outburst surprised her, but what came next was even more shocking: she realized that the guy had also switched his profile on the instant messaging app KakaoTalk.
For some context, the app lets you have various profiles, and the one she’d seen during their six months of dating included cute photos of her and the guy that made it look like, well, they were actually a couple.
However, in the wake of his jealous freakout, the guy switched back to his real profile, which revealed that he was actually married to another woman in Korea!
On the profile, there was a counter, showing he’d been with his wife for 3,000 days and had tied the knot with her over 1,000 days ago. Plus, their wedding photos were his background!
She ultimately learned that the guy had initially moved to Europe alone for work and that his wife planned to join him abroad afterward. And once she realized he was really just a lying cheater, she immediately confronted him.
Still, there wasn’t a huge blowup or denial. He actually just flat-out admitted to being married and claimed he thought their affair was getting “too deep.” That’s why he decided to act jealous over the video and make it seem like their splitting up was her fault.
“And he hoped that once I saw his wife, I’d be too shocked to ever contact him again,” she revealed.
From there, all the red flags she’d written off or ignored in the past started to make sense. For instance, her friend had once seen the guy on a dating app, and when she approached him about it, he stated he was just “checking” to see if she had a profile since she’d been acting “distant.”
On another occasion, the guy panicked when she said, “Say hi to your mom!” while he was on a call with his mother. At the time, he claimed his mom was super traditional and only wanted him to date Korean women. Obviously, though, he just didn’t want his mother to know he was with someone other than his wife.
“He also pushed me to answer every message immediately and said it was ‘normal Korean behavior,’ but the reality is that the 9-hour time difference with Korea made it easy for him to avoid texting his wife while he was with me. I was just convenient,” she added.
After everything clicked into place, she was understandably devastated. Not only had she recently lost her job, but she had to come to terms with being the “other woman” for months.
To this day, she still gets “triggered” whenever she hears the notification sound for the KakaoTalk app.
“And the worst part is that the story doesn’t even end here. I was dumb enough to keep talking to him afterwards because I was looking for some kind of closure while my life was falling apart. I wish I were strong enough to end it right there.”
Have you ever dated someone who turned out to be a master manipulator? Would you have trouble trusting another man again after such a betrayal? What advice would you give her?
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By Katharina Buczek
Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing in... More about Katharina Buczek
