Clicktorix is a pill-shaped vibrator that slides right into the earphone hole of your smartphone. The accompanying app only works with iOS and Android devices, so Windows Phone and BlackBerry users, you have denied yourself the sensual delights of self-pleasure. Be disappointed.
The vibrator is controlled by the app, and has a few different speeds. And on the app? Stats! Yes, stats. Your heart rate, calories burned, and, the centerpiece, a countdown timer to orgasm (I’m not even going to pretend to know how that’s supposed to work) are all right on the app, as well as the current intensity of the vibrator.
And you know what? This is totally gross. Not because of self-love, because there is nothing wrong with self-love. There is, however, something wrong with sticking your smartphone all up into your nether regions, and then still using it as, you know, a smartphone. To talk into, and stuff. But, if you have that extra smartphone laying around that you haven’t traded in or recycled yet, well, now you know how to put it back to good use.
Clicktorix will run you $68.45, which seems expensive to me. But hey, you can’t put a price on pleasure.