One person replied to this teen with, “You sound like an average teenager who has had a lot of life experiences early on.”
“If going to the hospital upsets you, don’t go. And don’t be afraid to tell your dad what you need, which is his undivided attention for a minute!”
“If you’re in school, talk to a counselor or teacher, or ask to be referred to therapy.”
“You have a real asset in your grandma. Call her and talk with her often. She may be a good way to get through to your dad.”
“Hang in there. I’m sorry life is tough right now.”
A mom replied with, “I’m a mom, and I wish I could give you a motherly hug right now.”
“You’re a strong, brave person who has had to deal with much more than you should have.”
“Your dad and stepmom don’t seem to see you as a person with their own needs and issues.”
“Your stepsister is a giant set of issues that you did not volunteer to take on at your young age.”
Someone else weighed in with this, “Meanwhile I feel fairly confident in saying that that the parents (dad and stepmom) are thinking “I didn’t ask for this either!” Which blatantly isn’t fair.”
“The stepmom likely didn’t choose to have a disabled child, but she chose to have a child (ignoring the fucked up societal issues around motherhood not always being a choice).”
“The father chose to marry someone with a severely disabled child, ignoring the impact if would have on his own daughter, who had no say in this.”
“I understand the adult perspectives, I just think that line of thinking is rather flawed.”
“They see how “mean” and lacking in empathy the daughter (OP) is, ignoring that OP has lost her own mom in a traumatic way and has her own needs.”
“Those needs are so far on the back burner it might as well not even be on the stove at all.”
“Teenagers sound “entitled”, but it’s just the inability to express their feelings beyond their limited emotional vocabulary and communicate them in a way their parents (and others) can understand.”
“It’s normal child behavior, yet the more a parent reacts in disgust or ignores their child’s needs, the worse/wider that chasm in their relationship gets.”
“Parents feel like they can let off knee-jerk reactions without probing (by asking questions or reflecting about themselves/their parenting/their child’s needs).”
“The kid says she wants to go hang out with her friends, not feed her sister.”
“The parents react with disgust at this want, because it looks like their kids value seeing friends over helping her step sister continue to live.”
“But really what OP is saying is “I feel like I’ve been abandoned by my parents when they picked the needs of another child over my own, and I need to go be in a space where people love me for me, not see me as useful in caring for the needs of a very needy individual. My parent has already indicated this child’s needs are more important than my own, which makes me feel guilty and resentful at the same time as feeling unloved and not the child they really care about – my needs do not come first” it doesn’t matter how needy her stepsister is, that just makes OP feel worse and guilty for having her own wants and needs, and that they have clearly chosen the other child over her.”
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Bre is a female millennial go getter residing in New York. One part entrepreneur, one part geek, she obtained her degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology.
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