“Although I have put some of my own money in this business, I never expected to be an equal partner but as I spend around 20 hours a week doing work for him, some credit would be nice.”
“Up until recently, he would usually say “we” in most social media posts and I assumed that was both of us.”
“It is really all the credit I needed.”
It’s certainly a small way to be acknowledged for all the effort.
“The other day, he made an Instagram business post which was partly about how difficult it is to operate right now and (paraphrasing) said it was particularly difficult for him as he was doing this totally by himself.”
“As usual, I proofread his post. I was pretty hurt to see the line about not having any help and I did bring it up.”
“He said that it was better for the business if it looked like it was all him.”
Wait, what? How hard is it to say something about his girlfriend?! It’s not just him and that’s really hurtful to be publicly playing it off like it is, not to mention just dishonest.
“A few hours later, he asked me to package up some orders for shipping. I retorted that he should do it himself if it’s better for business.”
“I was partly joking but he was furious in his reaction and I’ve now told him I won’t do anything for him.”
“He’s now trying to fill in some forms (something I normally handle) and struggling. The one friend I’ve told thinks I should help him as it’s not like I want a public declaration of my existence and this is a stupid fight.”
“I think that if my work isn’t being rewarded with cash, some basic respect would work well too.”
“I also think it might be worth him learning how difficult yet mind-numbingly boring some of the work I do for him is.”
Here’s what the internet had to say, and she even shared an update on what she is going to do now.
“He actually asked her to help him by proofreading his “I do it all without any help” post. I’m guessing he doesn’t have a strong grasp of irony.”
“She does things owners do. She deserves a share.”
“As somebody with an ex-BFF who owns a company we built together, you need to write up an agreement about what exactly you are entitled to here. Money changes some people beyond recognition and promises mean nothing without a contract.”
“…If I were a customer and I heard this situation I would feel kinda irked, enough to think what a jerk and not want to be a customer anymore. Who wants to get behind someone that thinks it better to not acknowledge the support they’ve received, especially from their own romantic partner… ”
“You contribute to the business you deserve credit or wages. If he’s not going to do either, let him see how hard it is without you. 20 hrs a week is a part-time job on top of your main job. It’s not fair to you to be unacknowledged or for him to use you as free labor.”
“20 hours a week is no insignificant feat. Even if it’s “better for business,” I think he still could have been a lot more sensitive to you and your feelings.”
“Let him figure out what it’s going to be like if she walks out the door, so he can re-evaluate what’s being contributed – especially when she’s giving him free labor and all she wants is some acknowledgment.”
“…She invested in the business. This should mean that she has at least some stake. If she invested 20% and she works 20 he’d a week, at least that’s the profit margin she should be getting. The guy is simply using her and in denial about it. And as you said, if he has to either pay her a margin on profit or pay her investment back or compensate her for her time, it may not be a feasible plan.”
She then said in an update, “I have no intention in completely stopping doing work for him, or breaking up with him (or reporting him to the police for financial abuse as one DM helpfully suggested) but I do want him to gain at least some understanding of what I do.”
“Over the last few years, I’ve always done the majority of the BOH stuff as it’s similar to my main gig and relatively easy for me but this role has clearly snowballed into a part-time GM job and it’s time I set some boundaries.”
“Tomorrow I’ll have a chat with him and if I’ve not been made redundant from my actual job, discuss me maybe teaching him to do what I do and transitioning back into more of a helper role.”
“Tonight, he can suffer doing some emails.”
You can read the rest of the advice the internet had for her here.
Bre is a female millennial go getter residing in New York. One part entrepreneur, one part geek, she obtained her degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology.
She has held some exciting roles in both fashion as a designer working for brands like Victoria’s Secret and Henri Bendel, as well as in ad tech working for publishers like Ziff Davis.
Today she operates Chip Chick Media which reaches millions of women each month.
Bre is passionate about teaching women how to build a business and be an entrepreneur, in addition to keeping her readers informed of the latest technology trends and exciting products to improve their lifestyles.
You can send Bre a message here.