She’s Trying To Make Her Daughter Learn American Sign Language Because Her Stepdaughter Is Deaf, But Her Daughter’s Refusing
This 49-year-old woman recently got married to her husband, who is 52. And in addition to gaining a new beau, she also became the stepmother of her husband’s 7-year-old daughter– who is deaf and communicates solely using American Sign Language (ASL).
She also has her own daughter, who is currently 17. And she claimed that her daughter is usually very non-problematic for a teenager.
“[My daughter] does amazing in school and has never caused any problems other than regular teenage hormone stuff,” she said.
The only issue, however, is that her daughter is not very fond of her husband or her stepdaughter.
While her teen is not “outwardly rude” to the pair, her daughter will essentially just pretend that they don’t even exist. For instance, her daughter refuses to engage in anything past small talk with her husband and also skipped her stepdaughter’s birthday party.
And while she did try to get the family together for some bonding activities, it really did not work, so she stopped pushing.
“And as long as my daughter’s not being outwardly rude or harmful to them, I can’t exactly punish her for not liking them,” she reasoned.
Since she got married to her husband, however, their relationship is obviously much more serious now. That’s why she started taking some ASL classes in order to communicate better with her stepdaughter.
The classes reportedly went well, too, and she claimed she is now “as fluent as a hearing person can be.”
Photographee.eu – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
But her daughter, on the other hand, never made an effort to learn.
At first, she still figured this was fine because her daughter did not have any direct responsibilities caring for her stepdaughter.
Recently, though, her daughter has begun getting paid to babysit her stepdaughter when they are not around. And for her, that changes everything.
She believes that now that her daughter is spending time with her stepdaughter and is responsible for a young kid, her daughter needs to at least learn some basic communication in ASL.
Although, after she brought up this idea, her daughter straight-up refused to put in any effort. And even when she recommended that her daughter starts by just watching some YouTube videos, her daughter still would not budge.
“Saying she’s not responsible for my choice to be in the life of a disabled child,” she recalled.
Since then, her daughter’s refusal to learn ASL has also been stirring up a lot of problems in her marriage. Apparently, her husband recently admitted to feeling uncomfortable that his young daughter lives with someone who is cold and refuses to engage or even put in such a small effort to communicate.
On top of that, her husband even revealed that the situation had pushed him to consider divorce since he doesn’t want her stepdaughter to be negatively impacted by her daughter’s treatment.
That’s why she finally chose to put her foot down and give her daughter an ultimatum.
More specifically, she told her daughter that they would have her disabled stepdaughter living in the house for the foreseeable future. So, if her daughter wants to continue living there while pursuing college, then the teen will have to learn some basic ASL.
She clarified that her daughter does not have to like her husband or her stepdaughter. Plus, the teen doesn’t even have to hang out with them.
“But she has to have the ability to communicate with [my stepdaughter] for the sake of safety and basic decency,” she underscored.
She also made it clear that if her daughter chooses not to learn ASL, then her daughter can live in a dorm room– which she would pay for. However, if her daughter chooses to live under their roof, then her daughter would have to abide by some basic rules.
That conversation occurred seven days ago, though, and her daughter has not spoken to her for the entire week.
So, she has now been left wondering whether forcing her daughter to learn sign language was a bad move.
Does she have a point that learning ASL is necessary for safety purposes during babysitting? At the same time, does it seem like her daughter has some pent-up frustration about her marriage that needs to be worked through? Was giving her daughter an ultimatum the best way to reconcile this issue? How could she fix it?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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