She Wants To Take Her Son To A Child-Free Wedding Because Her Daughter Was Asked To Be The Flower Girl, And Her Son Was Excluded
This 35-year-old woman’s cousin, who is 27, will be tying the knot next spring. And she could not be more excited to attend the wedding and be a part of her cousin’s big day.
Since finding out about the engagement, she has offered to help on different occasions.
“But, since I live out of state, it has been hard,” she said.
She did get to see her cousin at a recent family gathering, though. It was there that her cousin informed her that the wedding would actually be only for adults with no kids in attendance.
Now, some people might get immediately heated that they could not bring their kids. However, she has two kids herself and was actually happy to accommodate her cousin’s wishes.
“I thought to myself, ‘Great! Date night for me and the hubs!” she recalled.
Yet, after announcing the “no kids” wedding, her cousin proceeded to ask her 6-year-old daughter and her other cousin’s daughter, who is 3, to be flower girls at the ceremony.
As you can probably imagine, her daughter was extremely excited and immediately said yes.
“I mean, who doesn’t want to dress up like a princess and have all eyes on them?!” she reasoned.
ID 29635113 – © Phase4photography – Dreamstime.com
Still, she thought it was a bit strange to advertise a child-free wedding while inviting two young girls to participate in the ceremony. But she realizes that everyone is different and that it’s her cousin’s big day. That’s why she did not read too much into the situation.
However, she did take issue with one more thing her cousin did. After inviting her 6-year-old daughter to have a role in the wedding, her cousin actually told her and her husband that they couldn’t bring their other 4-year-old son.
Her cousin dropped this bomb while they were still at the family gathering, and at the time, she did not say anything. But, she honestly does not think it’s right to just invite her daughter and not her son.
“I don’t think it’s fair that my son has to sit in an unfamiliar hotel room with a babysitter, knowing his entire family is at this event except him,” she explained.
“He already asked me why his sister gets to go, and he doesn’t.”
Plus, she claimed there is a myriad of reasons why excluding her son is particularly upsetting.
First of all, he has Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and reportedly has “really big feelings.” That’s why staying in unfamiliar places with unfamiliar people, like babysitters, is extremely dysregulating for her son.
She also claimed that, while her son is very intelligent, an explanation about the situation would still go over his head. So, her son would not understand why his sister was invited, and he wasn’t.
Finally, it will be very difficult and stressful to find a qualified babysitter for the evening in a state that she doesn’t even live in.
“And quite honestly, I don’t know how comfortable with it I am,” she vented.
So, she really wants her son to go to the wedding, but she realizes that going against her cousin’s wishes might be disrespectful.
That’s why she’s been left wondering whether wanting to take her son to the child-free event makes her a jerk or not.
Can you understand why she doesn’t want her son to feel left out? Would you also want to bring both of your kids if one was invited and given a special role? At the same time, would it be right for her to just show up with her son even though her cousin told her not to? How could she better handle this situation?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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