If your spouse cheats on you, is it automatic grounds for a divorce, or do you think there’s any possibility to bounce back from that?
Well, on the evening of December 21st, this woman slept with a man she met at a bar, and she intentionally took her wedding ring off as an experiment to see if any men would approach her with interest.
A man did, and she proceeded to have a couple of drinks with him before agreeing to go back to his house. On the way there and after kissing this guy in his car, she texted her husband with a lie about spending the night at her friend’s house.
She spent the night with this guy, slept with him, and the following morning, she woke up, fully aware that her marriage would be over as soon as her husband found out.
She wrote out a horrific letter detailing everything she did with her hookup buddy to give to her husband after making a confession to his face.
Her husband has hardly said a word to her after discovering the cheating, and she additionally told him that she’s been flirting with strangers on the internet and sending them photos.
“It broke my heart to listen to the hurt in his voice when he asked me the few initial questions about who, when, and how, and I answered truthfully, but since then, he hasn’t asked me anything,” she explained.
Her husband didn’t get angry or shout at her. He was very calm as he requested space and time to consider what she did. He has been spending more time out of the house alone.
He does text her to make sure she’s fine taking care of their kids alone while he works through his next steps. She’s said she’s open to listening to her husband, providing him with more details, allowing him to check her phone and social media accounts, and going to therapy to fix what’s clearly wrong with her.
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None of that has seemed to sway him in the direction of staying in their marriage, she fears. She’s not sure what’s left to do to prove that she’s sorry.
“But there’s not really much I can do if he has already made up his mind, and I really get the feeling that he’s gonna drop the divorce bomb on me someday. Not like I wouldn’t deserve it,” she added.
“I just wish he would be angry at me, you know? Say all the mean things I know he has bottled up inside… I know he’s mad at me. Who wouldn’t be? He wouldn’t have anything nice to say about my cheating. I know that I’m not an idiot.”
“But I wish he would let me see his hurt? Why do it in secrecy? He can be mad at me and still divorce me. I can see what he’s doing, that he’s preparing to ask for a divorce. I can almost see guilt in his eyes? Something like…pity?”
She acknowledges that she could be making this all up. But in the end, she was anticipating her husband’s blowup after admitting to sleeping with another man, and the fact that he’s being so rational is making her more worried.
Indifference is harder to deal with than anger because that does leave a lot open to interpretation. I think she needs to give her poor husband the space he needs to determine what’s in his best interest.
In the meantime, she should prepare herself for a divorce and work on getting the help she needs in therapy. He may very well be done and unwilling to give her a chance.
What advice do you have for her? Do you think her husband’s lack of emotions is a clear indicator that he’s already decided on a divorce?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
