Her Boyfriend Doubled His Income And No Longer Wants To Marry Her Because He's Worried She Lacks Ambition

If you were discussing getting married to your partner, only for them to hit the brakes on that after they doubled their income and basically called you lazy, how would you feel?

This 31-year-old woman started out as friends with her 36-year-old boyfriend, and they got into a relationship four and a half years ago.

Her boyfriend recently got a new job that more than doubled his salary, so he's making three times what she does. He works in tech, while she works in education.

They have been discussing getting married for quite a long time, but those talks have grown more serious in the last year. They agreed to not have a traditional wedding or engagement ring and instead opt for simple gold bands, a courthouse wedding, and a fun honeymoon.

Today, she sent a wedding band to her boyfriend, and he responded that they had to talk later on. Well, when they did sit down for a chat, her boyfriend revealed he no longer wants to move ahead with planning a wedding.

"...When I asked why, he said that it was because our financial situation was 'more complicated now' and he needed to 'do research on how other people handle it,'" she explained.

"I asked if that meant he didn’t want to marry me anymore, and he said, 'It means I don’t want to talk about it until I figure some stuff out,' to which I just said, 'Okay.' I’m currently panicking a little, and I feel really hurt."

"The first 2 years we dated, I was making triple what he was making at the time (minimum wage) and not once did I ever think 'yeah I can’t marry this guy, he makes less than I do,' so it’s difficult for me not to think 'wow now that he has more to lose he isn’t quite sure he wants to risk it with me specifically,' or something."

Now, she has doubled her salary too in the time that they have been dating; it's not like she has plateaued in her career, it's just that her boyfriend benefitted from more upside by moving between Fortune 500 companies.

svetograph - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person - pictured above is a woman in front of a yellow rose bush

Anyway, she decided to flat-out ask her boyfriend if he's worried about getting a prenup before resuming their conversation about becoming husband and wife, but apparently, that's not a concern of his.

He basically thinks she's lazy for not making anything near what he does!

"He feels I’m not as ambitious as he is income-wise (he’s gone from minimum wage to 200k in 4.5 years, whereas I’ve only gone from 43k to 78k) and he has concerns that I don’t share the same drive as him, that 'I’m too comfortable where I am,' that it’s making him doubt our relationship, and he would like me to work on getting a higher-paying job, and until then marriage talk is on hold," she continued.

She's still trying to sort out what that exactly means.

This is an enormous red flag to me, because it means her boyfriend no longer views her as being on the same level as him, and it's like he thinks he's better than her now that he magically has way more money.

He sounds like the kind of man who will trade her in for someone younger and more attractive if she does ever agree to marry him.

She should dump him and find a man who isn't going to tie her value to her net worth.

What advice do you have for her?

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