Single men and women in their late twenties, thirties, or even forties often experience a variety of feelings related to their dating life.
Some are perfectly content with solo living or even prefer it as opposed to always being with a romantic partner.
But others yearn for “more” as they watch other family members and friends tie the knot, wondering when it will finally be their turn.
So, a long-lasting single streak can result in feelings ranging from jealousy and insecurity to bitterness, loneliness, and fear in the face of a ticking biological clock.
That’s why it’s not rare for some singles to wind up setting down and getting married to a partner who may not be their “first choice.”
But while this may not sound the most romantic, one Redditor recently asked spouses of the internet how their marriages are going after saying “I do” to their “better than nothing option.” And surprisingly, many of the unions blossomed into fruitful marriages.
When “Better Than Nothing” Turned Into “Better Than They Could’ve Imagined”
“I feel like we may have both settled because we had a child together. But 22 years in, and he’s a better partner than I could have ever dreamed.”
“A coworker got married to their ‘better than nothing option’ six or seven years ago. It was one of those things where both people settled since they were getting older, and I guess they figured they’d give it a shot. They went from married to single in eight months.”
“Apparently, as time went on, it only got better for them. They both started actively trying to better themselves– seeing therapists, picking up healthy solo habits– and learned how to best communicate with each other over that time.”
“They’re both in their early 50s now, and they act like a happy younger couple whenever we’re at work events. It’s kind of cool to see.”
“I married my ‘better than nothing’ option in my 30s. We both understood what we had waited for and committed ourselves fully to the marriage.”
“Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had married my ‘preferred option,’ and I realize that the love I feel from the person I married is so much better than the ‘preferred option’ would have been.”
“I never did convince the preferred option to date me, while the woman I’m married to now found me easy to love. In other words, my romantic self is an idiot, and my ‘better than nothing’ was actually better than everything.”
Still, Some Spouses Who “Settled” Did Not Have Such Happy Outcomes
“Things have been good at best and poor recently. Living together before helped some, but…I underestimated or was decidedly oblivious to the necessity of having a similar level of intelligence– even more so than common ground– for long-term happiness.”
“I think I am the ‘better than nothing’ spouse. About a month ago, I found out. It was devastating.”
“For 17 years, she settled for me despite not truly loving me. Life was hard, but we had each other– or so I thought. The moment we talked about how bad things got, she asked for a divorce, and I lost my best friend and the sole person who I felt I trusted enough to talk to.”
“I move out tomorrow to rebuild my life.”
“My former BFF married her ‘better than nothing.’ I knew it wasn’t going to go well when she asked me on her wedding day if I would be there for her for the divorce.”
“Long story short, they are now divorced. It was an unhappy marriage from the get-go. They managed to get themselves into severe financial difficulty, spawned one offspring, and then got divorced. I think it lasted about 15 years, and I believe that is only because of the child.”
Would you ever marry a ‘better than nothing’ option, or would you rather remain single? Is love the only thing required to make marriages work?
You can read the original thread on Reddit here.
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By Katharina Buczek
Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing in... More about Katharina Buczek
