Deciding to have children is a huge choice for couples. Before making this decision, it’s important to have conversations about what parenting together would look like for you two. Unfortunately, sometimes people will promise you one thing and actually give you another.
TikTok creator @momupdate2021 shares how she was let down by her husband’s parenting actions.
When she and her husband first met, she told him that she did not want to have any children. She loved being an Auntie to her 17 nieces and nephews but did not want to have children of her own.
Some people think that they do not want to have kids, but then when they meet their partner, something in them shifts and makes them more open to the possibility of having children with them. This woman, however, did not have this experience.
Her partner told her that not having children was a deal breaker for him. She decided to offer him a compromise.
“I will have the kids,” she said, “but I will never give up my career or my way of life for our kids. Like I’ll take care of them and love them obviously, like I know that, but I wasn’t going to be a stay-at-home mom, and I have an expectation of the way I want my kids raised.”
It was also important to her that if she did have kids with him, they were raised by them two and not by other people. She did not want her kids to be spending day after day with anyone but Mom and Dad.
“That would mean that he would be assuming the responsibilities of a stay-at-home father. Which means grocery shopping, cleaning, taking care of the kids, running them back and forth at wherever they need to go, and taking them to their appointments,” she explained.
After she went back to work, this mom quickly realized that her husband would not live up to the expectations that she had for him. She was frustrated with this because she had been upfront at the beginning of their relationship about not wanting kids and only made this compromise with him with the impression that he would take on a lot of the responsibility.
She had told him that she would make enough money so that he would be able to stay at home with the kids, and he expressed to her that he wanted that. However, his actions were not showing it. She decided to hire a nanny to help out occasionally, but unfortunately, that did not go over well either.
He did not like having a nanny in the house and would often hide away, leaving the nanny questioning where he was.
“This nanny had to leave one night, she left and left our front door open, and my kids were outside, and he was locked in our bedroom, and the kids are running around outside at night. I was livid,” this mother shares.
Worried about the safety of her kids, after this incident, she decided that the father needed to leave the house. He clearly was not the reliable or responsible father figure that this mother had hoped for.
“I just find it really unfair that now this man knows all this about me, it was made very clear, and somehow I’ve still been left with both of our kids, and he’s not offering any support whatsoever to take care of these kids,” the mother expresses.
https://www.tiktok.com/@momupdate2021/video/7200734055841811718
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