He Told His Younger Siblings That If Their Stepmom Adopted Them, Then Their Biological Mom’s Name Would Be Replaced On Their Birth Certificates, And It Caused All Of His Siblings To Refuse To Be Adopted
This 16-year-old boy is the oldest, and he has three siblings.
He has two sisters, Calia, 13, and Thea, 11, and a 10-year-old brother named Dex.
Tragically, their mother passed away eight years ago.
Thea and Dex were too young to remember their mother too well. But he has more clear memories than Calia does since he’s the oldest.
Since their younger siblings don’t have as many memories of their mother, he and Calia tell them wonderful stories to keep her memory alive.
He also has tons of pictures and videos of her that he’s shown to Thea and Dex. They’ve asked both him and their father questions about their mother.
Two years after their mother’s passing, their father met their stepmother.
They got married after dating for about seven months.
Prior to their marriage, there was a discussion about their stepmother adopting them, but he rejected the idea right away.
pressmaster – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
His father and stepmother went back and forth about the topic, but in the end, they decided to wait until she was able to adopt all four of them.
“She was still new to me, so I found it incredibly weird to have someone offer to adopt me five months after I met them, and especially when she and my dad were both aware that I remember my mom,” he said.
Throughout the entire time they’ve known their stepmother, none of his siblings have ever referred to her as “‘mom.'” Thea and Dex have a nickname that they call her, while he and Calia just call her by her first name.
He has noticed that all of his siblings seem to view their stepmother as a parental figure, but he doesn’t see her that way. He only sees her as his father’s wife.
Even though he rejected his stepmother’s initial offer to adopt the four of them, the subject was never dropped.
A couple of years ago, he looked up adoption and discovered that being adopted would mean that he would be provided with a new birth certificate. This meant that instead of his mother’s name being listed, his stepmother would be listed on the new certificate. He kept digging for as much information as he could find because he knew that the topic would keep coming up until a final decision was made, possibly involving some conflict.
During his research, he had a virtual chat with a lawyer in his area who was well-versed in how adoption works.
A couple of months ago, his siblings questioned him about why he constantly brought up the negative aspects of their stepmother adopting them. In response, he pointed out how their mother’s name would be replaced with their stepmother’s once their new birth certificates were issued. He didn’t want this to happen.
After his explanation, Calia understood his point of view, and they then reframed the concept in a way that Thea and Dex could better comprehend.
This past week, their father and stepmother broached the topic of adoption once more.
“My dad said it would be the last time, or they would proceed with her adopting my siblings. I said my answer remained no and gave them a very detailed speech on why. My stepmom said I could always frame my original birth certificate if that would make it better, and people would see it, but I would still be adopted and be her son. I said no,” he explained.
Later, his father and stepmother had the same conversation with his siblings, and they also rejected the idea. The reason they cited was the same reason he had, and they said that they hadn’t known before that there would be a change on their birth certificates.
“They didn’t realize Mom’s name would be erased, and they didn’t want that. My dad and stepmom tried to coax them out of their no, but they all said they didn’t want it, and Calia said they only ever said yes because they felt like they should, not because they really wanted to be adopted,” he shared.
After all of them said that they didn’t want their stepmother to adopt them, their father was angry with him in particular. In his father’s view, he was to blame.
His father believed that he was the one who persuaded his siblings to alter their views on the idea of being adopted.
When his father talked to him, he told him that he “robbed” his siblings of the “security” that would come with being adopted. His father continued, telling him that his siblings would never be able to view their stepmother as a mother figure now after “such a big line in the sand was drawn.”
What would you have done if you were in his shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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