5 Completely Unrealistic Expectations You Might Have For Your Bridesmaids
Since your wedding will be one of the most monumental days of your life, it’s only natural to want everything to go perfectly. And for most brides, a big part of that vision includes having their closest friends and family members by their side as bridesmaids.
While your bridal party is meant to support you and help make your day as special as possible, though, it’s important to remember that your bridesmaids are also real people with their own lives, responsibilities, and priorities.
So even though your wedding may feel like your entire life during the planning process, it’s not theirs. They have jobs, families, and other commitments, and it’s not fair to expect them to drop everything for your big day.
This may sound obvious, but as weddings get closer and brides feel the stress, it is not uncommon for them to take it out on their bridesmaids with unreasonable expectations.
So, in case you need a reminder, here are five expectations you may have for your bridesmaids that are completely unrealistic.
1. Being At Your Beck And Call 24/7
After you choose your best friends to be your bridesmaids, that doesn’t mean they are on call for every single little wedding-related task.
Yes, they can be there for moral support or to lend a helping hand from time to time. But you cannot expect them to drop what they’re doing at a moment’s notice to help you mail invites, pick out flowers, or taste-test cake flavors.
Keep in mind that they have their own lives to attend to. And their work, family commitments, and other priorities may take precedence over your wedding.
Yuliya – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
Rather than expecting your bridesmaids to be available all the time, work to set clear expectations for when you need their help. Lay out plans ahead of time, try to make their schedules work, and be receptive if your bridesmaids just cannot be there.
At the same time, when your bridesmaids do show up for you, never forget to show your appreciation for their time and efforts.
2. Bridesmaid Dresses
Matching bridesmaid dresses is a classic wedding planning debate. Yes, having your entire bridal party in one gown may look stunning in photos.
But, it is not always fair or practical to expect every bridesmaid to wear the exact same dress.
First of all, not everyone will have the same body type or style preference. So, if you force them into a dress they don’t feel comfortable in, that can lead to feelings of insecurity or resentment.
On top of that, not every bridesmaid in your party will have the same budget for a dress. That’s why it’s not fair to expect them all to spend a fortune on a dress that they might only wear once– especially if they don’t like it.
So, instead of dictating a specific dress, you can pick out a color palette or specific fabric that your bridesmaids can work with. They will still fit your theme, but will be able to choose a dress that flatters their body type, fits their budget, and makes them feel beautiful.
3. Bachelorette Budget
Okay, we have all seen the elaborate weekend-long bachelorette parties on social media. But let’s be real: these high-caliber celebrations are not always practical.
I’m not saying you cannot have a bachelorette party at all. Rather, it’s just not fair to expect your bridal party to throw you an expensive, two or three-day-long celebration without any financial help.
Your bridesmaids likely will not all have the same budget for an elaborate party– especially if it involves travel. Plus, coordinating everyone’s availability may be impossible.
So, if you make this a non-negotiable, your bridesmaids can end up feeling a lot of pressure, unnecessary stress, and pent-up resentment.
Rather than expecting a massive bash, hear your bridesmaids out about what they can realistically do. Maybe a dinner and bar trip is more their speed or a weekend-long staycation that is much more budget-friendly.
The point is to be receptive and spend some good old-fashioned quality time with your bridesmaids– not break the bank or create even more pre-wedding stress.
4. Expecting Agreement With Every Decision
There’s no doubt that your bridesmaids are there to support and help you through the wedding planning process. At the same time, though, they are also there to provide alternate perspectives– which means they don’t have to agree with every single decision you make.
It’s important to remember that your bridesmaids will have their own opinions. And if you ask for their help, you should expect some honest feedback in the process.
This is actually a great thing, and it can help you see different sides of situations to make more well-rounded decisions. So, remember to listen to any ideas your bridesmaids give you and really consider them rather than expecting them to just blindly agree with everything you say.
After all, a wedding should be a celebration of love, not a battleground for conflicting opinions.
5. Wanting Everyone To Be BFFs
When you imagine your bridal party, you might envision every single bridesmaid getting along seamlessly. Unfortunately, though, that’s not always the case– and this expectation is just unrealistic.
Oftentimes, bridal parties are made up of important people from the bride’s many stages of life. You may have a few childhood best friends, a couple of college friends, and maybe even some beloved coworkers.
It’s only natural for all of these people to have different personalities, different opinions, or maybe even past conflicts with each other that you’re not aware of.
So, try not to manufacture anything or force any connections. Instead, you can focus on just encouraging positive interactions– helping your bridesmaids break the ice and be respectful of each other.
At the end of the day, your chosen group of gals is there to support you on your special day, not make a brand-new friend group.
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