8 Years Is The Average Length Of U.S. Marriages Today: Why Aren’t They Lasting As Long As They Used To?
Nowadays, divorce is everywhere. The taboos surrounding separation are still present in certain cultures and social settings, but they have undoubtedly lessened in greater society over the years.
In fact, in the United States, the average length of a marriage is just seven to eight years. The divorce rate in the country is also about 50%. This means that second marriages, blended families, and other iterations of non-traditional family structures are on the rise, too.
Yet, for some people, the switch has been puzzling. As a Millenial or even Gen Zer, you may remember your grandparents or parents sticking it out through challenges and tumultuous periods in hopes of avoiding divorce.
Now, though, marriages are not lasting quite as long as they used to. And recently, people online took to Reddit to discuss why this modern phenomenon is unraveling before our eyes.
Freedom To Divorce
“More like the freedom to not have to remain in an abusive and dangerous marriage.”
“Women used to have their dangerous husbands in the courtroom with them to be able to divorce, and he had to give his okay for it to actually happen.”
“Now, women can get a divorce and flee a dangerous situation without their husband’s permission. It is actually a good and amazing thing.”
Andrey Bandurenko – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
“Women no longer need husbands to own land, own a home, have bank accounts, to even have children. People also aren’t willing to put up with domestic abuse situations, either. Back in the day, women felt like they needed to stay… not so much anymore.”
The “Why” Behind Marriage Has Shifted
“This is widely studied. The main accepted-ish reason is that marriage has shifted from an arrangement of need– or survival– to an arrangement of happiness. So, people who are unhappy tend to leave more often.”
“Think about it like this. Women didn’t work nearly as much as men pre-WWI. And the participation of women in the workforce has only increased.”
“This is to say women can provide for themselves more often, and society recognizes marriage differently than it used to.”
“A course I took in undergrad on technology in society had the professor introduce the course with the statement, ‘Refrigerators cause divorce.'”
“He then went on to elaborate how the evolution of technology facilitating human needs that previously relied on other people to be met allowed relationships to transition from arrangements of survival/necessity to arrangements of convenience.”
“But that opening line has stayed with me for being so succinct.”
How Simple It Is To Find A New Partner
“The ease with which people can seek a replacement. You can look at thousands of people on any given app within a short period of time.”
“The sheer number of beautiful people we see online gives us a false notion that we want/can do better than our current spouse. The reality is that the beautiful people we see online are in the top 1% of attractiveness, which is why they get so much attention online.”
“People don’t try and fix minor stuff anymore. They look for gratification elsewhere as soon as a hurdle comes up. Social media made that ten times easier and worse.”
“People don’t realize the effort that’s actually needed to keep a relationship working for all parties. As a result, I personally believe people often give up too easily.”
Why do you think marriages are not lasting as long? Do you agree with these points, or do you think there are other contributing factors?
You can read the original thread on Reddit here.
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