His Wife Suggested They Get A Divorce And Remain Friends, But If They Do Separate, He Doesn’t Want To Have Any Relationship With Her Beyond Co-Parenting

Over the last several years, this man and his wife have grown more distant from one another.
There are many reasons for this, and he acknowledges that he has insecurity issues and struggles with confidence.
Throughout the past year, he has been working on gaining better self-esteem.
“I feel better about myself than I have in years. However, it may have been too little, too late, as my wife has suggested a separation,” he said.
During this discussion, he and his wife came to an agreement that they would take time to focus on the problems within their marriage, and at the start of the new year, they would take a look at their progress and go from there.
He doesn’t want to go through a divorce, which is why he has been putting in so much effort to improve himself and their relationship.
“I’m not even doing this for her. I’m doing it for myself, and if it happens to help save the marriage, that’s a great bonus. If it’s beyond saving, then I’m a better person regardless,” he explained.
From his perspective, the effort he’s made has positively benefited their marriage, but he knows that he’s more invested than his wife is. She’s told him that she goes back and forth on whether she wants to go through with a divorce or not.
Throughout their constant talks about the possibility of divorce, they have both indicated that they hope to be cordial and civil co-parents, and they want to maintain kindness between one another.

Photo 100111066 – © Viacheslav Iacobchuk – Dreamstime.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Even if they ultimately decide to go forward with a divorce, they want to avoid any mudslinging and strive to have an uncontested divorce.
“My wife has said through all of this that we act like really good friends, not husband and wife. So, even though we’ve drifted apart romantically, we still get along. However, because I am definitely still in love with her and am dedicated to making it work, my feelings are that if we get divorced, I’d like to have that great co-parenting relationship, but I’m not interested in any relationship beyond co-parenting,” he shared.
In his view, it would be best to remain kind but not overly friendly while co-parenting their children. He envisions that after their children are 18, he won’t see her often besides at big life events such as college graduations, weddings, or for anything related to future grandchildren.
He clarified that all of these thoughts are purely hypothetical because he feels pretty certain that he and his wife will stay together.
They have discussed going on dates together, and his wife has become more physically affectionate lately. Plus, their communication is much more open and productive than it’s been in many years.
Despite these improvements within their marriage, the idea of divorce is still in the back of his mind, and he wonders if it would be wrong of him to tell his wife that if they did go through a divorce, he would only want to co-parent their children together, and not maintain a friendship.
What advice would you give to him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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