Sometimes, perfect connections are formed amid tragedies, like your husband cheating on you with your best friend. But is a connection like that worth pursuing when the dust has settled?
This woman has spent 17 years with her husband, and six years ago they tied the knot. As for her best friend? Well, she’s known that girl even longer: 35 years.
Her best friend got married a year after she did, and her husband’s name is Liam. Sadly, Liam recently shared with her that her best friend and husband have been cheating together!
Liam then told her that her best friend has actually hated her for years on end, and she really didn’t pick up on any of the vitriol.
“I was always in her shadow, and she always resented me for ‘having luck’ when she is the better woman in everything. If you have been cheated on by your spouse, double the pain because of who he chose to betray you with,” she explained.
“Suddenly, you lose the two people you loved the most. We have been inseparable, the two of us, with our husbands becoming good friends through us. Maybe that was the mistake, getting too close, but no, I refuse [to judge] normal human friendships because mine turned out to be rotten, but we did so many things together.”
“Traveled once a year, biweekly dinners, and all major events we celebrated together. Daily contact with my best friend and frequent contact in the group chat. I valued my best friend even more than my own family because she was my family.”
Anyway, when Liam spilled the details of the affair, he shared that it had been going on for months, and he figured it out last year.
Liam understood her pain, as he was going through the same wave of emotions. Some days, she couldn’t get out of her bed because she was so hurt, and she would wait around for him to call her.
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On the days when she felt better, Liam helped her feel like she was unbeatable and would bounce back. Liam has called her on a daily basis for an entire year, even if it’s just to say a quick hello.
They hung out in person a handful of times after the affair was brought to light to her, and they came to the conclusion that they had to stay away from one another, as they were mad and helpless, so they might cross a line. They kept their physical distance to avoid that.
She did leave her husband the minute she was clued in to his infidelity. They have money and no kids, and it was easy for her to ignore her husband’s pleas to stay with him.
Her husband is currently refusing to sign their divorce papers, but she’s unbothered, as they are already separated, and that’s a fact to everyone, as well as why their marriage is over.
Liam’s situation is a lot different, as he and her best friend share a toddler, and her best friend was pregnant when he learned of the affair.
Liam and her best friend have to work their hearts out to make ends meet, so they can’t walk away from one another.
“I feel [ashamed] that I have developed feelings for him. I know they’re not genuine, but because he’s someone I have known for years and who I share a painful part of my life with,” she said.
“While his calls seemed very innocent and genuine, they [were] wrong. Even though he never flirted with me or I [with] him. He seems to be more sure about his feelings, however, so that prompted me to tell him that we couldn’t be grief friends anymore.”
“He wanted to meet up and talk about it. When we met, I just wanted to hold him and stay in his arms forever, but I know it is just because I feel so lonely and neglected. He told me that we could at least text each other sometimes about our lives.”
She replied to Liam that they can’t stoop to the level of their spouses, because she has a lot of respect for herself and for him, and she’s afraid to lose it.
He got quiet before wishing her luck. She’s been sobbing ever since, and it’s like there’s a gaping hole in her heart all over again.
She does know that Liam is planning a divorce, but for now, he and her best friend can’t afford to split up, so they’re pretty stuck for the time being.
Liam was incredibly sweet to her as she navigated her darkest hours, and I don’t see the harm in exploring something with him when he does manage to disengage from her bestie.
Sure, they could be trauma bonded, but where’s the harm in exploring if this is true love (you know, when Liam makes himself single)?
In light of her falling in love with her best friend’s husband, what advice do you have for her? Is this a relationship that can ever work in real life, or does it just sound like a trauma bond?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
