We’ve all seen the “let’s spice things up” trope in movies, but when your spouse pivots from loving your shared life to wanting to date other people out of the blue, it’s easy to feel like you’ve had the rug pulled out from underneath you.
Five years ago, this 30-year-old man married his wife, who is the same age as him. They have meaningful careers and don’t have kids.
He believed they were living the dream, and he thought his wife was happy with their life. Lately, there’s been some tension in their marriage, and he couldn’t quite figure out why.
On Tuesday, his wife sat down to have a conversation with him, and he expected her to finally open up about what was irritating her so much.
“Instead, she gave me a ‘we’re still young, and we can try new things speech.’ Then asks for an open marriage. I was not prepared for that and was just stunned,” he explained.
“I couldn’t come up with anything to say. I was just shocked at the request. I think she was encouraged and kept selling it to me. By the time she paused for a response, I had gotten my head together.”
He was furious but calmly informed his wife that he was not down for an open marriage. They argued a bit, and both said they would quit talking about the topic and revisit it later when everything was less heated.
Yesterday evening, they tried again to have a rational discussion, and it went sideways. His wife really pushed him to say yes to what she wanted and dismissed his concerns.
His wife accused him of being controlling and jealous. She said some other horrible things to him. Eventually, he told his wife they needed to get a divorce.
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“She was instantly angry again and asked why I would say that. I told her this goes one of two ways. She will hook up with other men, and I’ll hate her for it,” he added.
“And even if that doesn’t happen, I’ll start dating and meet a woman [who] wants to have a monogamous relationship with me, and I’ll leave you for her. 100%.”
“She completely lost it at that point, threw a glass at me, [and] cursed me out so loud the neighbors came out to see what was going on. I told her if she gets this angry because I’m not ok with my wife [sleeping with] other men, maybe we should just skip all the BS and separate right now.”
He was seeing red, so he got into his car and drove off. His wife kept on yelling at him as he left. He went to stay at a hotel. He woke up the next day wondering how his marriage went off the rails.
His wife has called him over 20 times, and he hasn’t picked up, as he has no words for her. There’s no way to fix their marriage after his wife admitted she wants to see other men.
While he really doesn’t want to divorce his wife, she’s pushing him to do something he can’t condone.
Well, I’m afraid his wife might already have a guy in mind if she’s so adamant about an open marriage (or she may have already cheated). Regardless, there’s no way he can stay married to her when he doesn’t want the same thing.
He’s right in thinking it’s time to call a lawyer and start the divorce process, because you can’t compromise on something this major.
Do you think there’s a solution here?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
