His Wife Threatened A Divorce Unless He Agrees To Open Their Marriage So She Can Pursue A Married Man From Her Gym

If your spouse threatened to divorce you unless you agreed to an open marriage that you don't want, what would you do?

This man has spent the last 13 years married to his wife, and they started dating when he was 19 and she was 17. They do love one another, and he doesn't imagine that his wife wants to hurt him; however, an open marriage has been a source of conflict between them for years.

"The first time she brought it up, I told her I couldn’t handle an open marriage. She’d always been attracted to women, and at first, she told me that was what she wanted to explore," he explained.

He was accommodating of that, and later on, his wife expressed an interest in other guys, insisting it had nothing to do with him falling short in the romance department.

Considering he and his wife got together as teens, he imagined she just wanted to know what it was like to have a different experience.

Four years prior to letting his wife experiment with women, he allowed her to have an open marriage, but he was not excited about it.

"She saw how much it was hurting me, and we closed it again after about four months. Neither of us acted on it during that time. Fast-forward to now," he said.

"She wants to open the marriage again, and I found out she’d been secretly talking to a married guy from her gym. She’s attracted to him and wants to get involved with him. They’d been texting and sending each other pictures while our marriage was still closed."

"When I brought it up, she seemed more focused on telling me how much she wanted this experience than on how I felt finding out about it. We’ve both done things in the past that hurt each other."

Eugenio Marongiu - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person - pictured above is a woman in the city

His wife made it clear she will file for divorce if he doesn't let her open the marriage again. He thinks he has to say yes, as he's afraid to lose his wife.

It's disappointing to him that she beat him to the punch and already has a guy in mind to pursue. The man from the gym is ready to hook up with her, whereas he has no women ready to pursue him at the moment.

His wife says she loves him and acknowledges how tough this is for him. While his wife being with women doesn't bother him, being with a man does.

He's repeatedly told his wife that he doesn't want an open marriage if it means she's free to sleep with other guys. They have discussed a divorce five different times.

He desperately wants to stay married, as he loves his wife, but she's making him say yes to an arrangement he doesn't have an interest in at all.

"She’s told me several times that she wants me to have the same experience and feel wanted by someone else, too. I know she still wants me. She wants me to experience what it feels like to be wanted by someone new," he continued.

"Maybe this sounds naive, but I respect that she originally came to me and told me she wanted an open marriage. A lot of people would’ve just cheated."

"As far as I know, nothing [physical] has happened between her and the guy from the gym, although they’ve been messaging on Instagram. I know she loves me, and I believe she wants us both to enjoy the experience while keeping our marriage intact. I wish I felt the same way about it, but it’s a lot for me to take in, and it’s been weighing on me."

I hate to say it, but his marriage is over if his wife is threatening to divorce him so she can hook up with the married man at her gym.

He needs to just file for a divorce. His wife has already been cheating on him, and slapping the open marriage label on what she's doing is probably just to alleviate her guilt.

Love isn't forcing your spouse into an open marriage that they don't want. He needs to wake up and recognize that.

What do you think he should do?

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