She's Tired Of Being Her Disabled Husband's Caregiver, And He Cries Every Day Following A Pool Accident

If your spouse became disabled following a vacation accident, and they cried every day in despair, how would you begin to deal with that?

Four years ago, this woman got married to her 28-year-old husband. Four months ago, while they were on vacation, her husband suffered a horrific accident at a pool.

"He broke his neck, resulting in a C3 spinal cord injury. He spent 3 weeks in a coma in the ICU, and I thought my husband was gone," she explained.

"Unfortunately, with the injury he had, doctors told me he'd never be able to move anything below his neck and would have to use a ventilator to breathe."

"After my husband woke up, he cried when he learned he'd never be able to walk again and said he no longer wanted to live like this. I made him a promise that I'd take care of him no matter what, and I've been doing it ever since."

Life has not been easy on them following her husband becoming disabled. They have a 1-year-old toddler, and she's currently seven months pregnant with their second child.

It's exhausting for her to be a mom and a caregiver to her husband. She works 9 to 5 on top of that and has had to ask her sister to come over and help before.

She can no longer complete some of their household chores considering how pregnant she is. Due to her husband's injury, he needs help getting out of bed, showering, eating, and putting clothes on.

"He also has to use catheters and diapers because he can't go to the bathroom and can't control his bladder or bowels. I also get worried at night about him stopping breathing," she added.

alotofpeople - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person - pictured above is a woman in a black dress with her hand on her hip

"I'm always making sure he's breathing fine with his ventilator. It's just exhausting having to help him with those things; I feel like I'm taking care of a baby adult."

"And to make matters even worse, my husband is constantly crying every day, complaining about how much he hates his life now and that he wishes he was euthanized, but at the same time he wants to see both of our children grow up."

She's not sure how to actually help her husband beyond the daily tasks, as it's not like she can make him walk again or magically heal him on her own.

They also get into fights because her husband will say he dislikes how she does specific things for him. Often, she feels like giving up on her husband, but he is the father of her kids.

Her 1-year-old tells her that he gets sad seeing his dad disabled. As much as she would like to abandon her husband, she can't, and it's tearing her apart.

"I love him, and I made him a promise, but I'm losing hope," she concluded.

She definitely needs more of a support system, whether that's asking her family or her in-laws to pitch in with caring for her toddler or her husband. And if they live too far away, it could make sense to relocate.

She should additionally look into hiring another caregiver to alleviate some of her stress, and get her husband into therapy to help with his negative mindset, because that's making it worse, not better.

What advice do you have for her?

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