Her Husband's Been Paying His Ex-Wife's Rent Behind Her Back For Years

If you found out that your spouse went behind your back and paid their ex's rent for two entire years while keeping it a secret from you, what would you do?

This 34-year-old woman has been married to her 37-year-old husband for the last 8 years, and she thought their bond was pretty unshakeable.

They both have jobs, split bills fairly, and have been saving up their money to buy a house. Her husband has a 12-year-old daughter with his ex-wife, and she comes to stay with them every other weekend.

Like a good wife, she's gone out of her way to do anything it takes to make her husband's daughter feel happy and safe while with them.

She also never gave her husband a hard time about his ex-wife, as she knows he has to speak to her about the child they share.

"Two years ago, I found out that my husband was sending his ex-wife $1,050 every month. He explained that she was far behind financially and he didn't want their daughter growing up in an unstable home," she explained.

"I wasn't thrilled that he'd made such a big financial commitment without discussing it with me, but I understood his reasoning and let it go. Not until last week, when everything changed."

"We were planning our tenth anniversary celebration when my husband casually mentioned that he wanted to invite his ex-wife to dinner. I thought he was pulling a prank. When I reminded him that it was our anniversary, he accused me of being insecure and overdramatic, saying he was only trying to make sure his daughter's mother didn't feel excluded."

They spent hours fighting until her husband said he would not invite his ex-wife. She figured that was behind them, but while she was on the laptop she shares with her husband, a message from his ex-wife popped up.

Igor Kardasov - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person - pictured above is a woman in a modern city

In it, her husband's ex-wife asked if she still didn't know about something before mentioning he should tell the truth prior to their anniversary.

She went straight to her husband, who eventually confessed that his ex-wife had been doing better financially about a year ago. She landed a new job and could pay her rent, but still, he sent her the money.

Her husband said he was worried that his ex-wife would take his daughter and move away if he quit giving her money.

"Then came the part I couldn't ignore. Six months earlier, his ex-wife had asked whether he'd ever consider getting back together with her," she added.

"He claimed he had rejected the idea, but he'd never told me about the conversation. She had also recently asked him to help her buy a house, and he admitted he was considering contributing to the deposit."

"We have been saving for our own house for three years. When I asked whether he intended to use our joint savings, he said he hadn't decided yet and was still thinking. I canceled our anniversary dinner and told him I needed time to think."

Her husband insists that she's retaliating against him for prioritizing his daughter. Her mom believes she should automatically assume that her husband will always put his daughter's needs above her own, because she married a dad.

Her best friend is upset and views her husband as crossing a line by keeping secrets from her. She doesn't suspect her husband of cheating on her with his ex-wife.

She does see that he adores his daughter and is doing anything it takes to protect his relationship with her. However, she's not thrilled with her husband for making decisions that impact their future without taking her into consideration.

"Our anniversary is in four days, and he still wants to celebrate. I'm torn because I love him, but I don't know whether I'm being unreasonable or finally recognizing a problem I've ignored for too long," she continued.

"[Am I overreacting] for reconsidering my marriage over this, or should I accept that helping his ex-wife is simply part of being a good father?"

Her husband's ex texting him while basically making fun of her for not knowing that he's sending money is crazy. Also, it means you're a good dad if you pay child support, but if you take joint money from your wife to help your ex buy a house, and that's the same ex that wants you back? Bad, bad news.

She needs to take all of her money out of their joint bank account ASAP and file for divorce. This is not a case of a dad trying to do right by his daughter.

This looks like her husband is still hung up on his ex. And he's making his ex the priority, not his daughter.

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