She’s Single, In Her Thirties, And Wants Kids, But Isn’t Sure How To Cope With The Stress Of Trying To Find A Guy
This 30-year-old woman is currently single and has not met a guy she truly connects with in a very long time.
So, since she really wants children, she is starting to get seriously stressed out because her biological clock is ticking.
She realizes that even if she does meet the “right” man for her, it will take years before they are ready to have children together.
“And if I spend time on a relationship that’s not right for me, I will waste even more time,” she vented.
That’s why she recently took to the internet in search of other people in their thirties who are in the same boat– hoping to glean some wisdom and find out how other singles who wish to have children are handling the stress.
Many people could relate to her struggle, including both men and women.
“I am a 35-year-old dude who wanted kids in his early twenties, and I think this same way. If I meet a girl tomorrow, it might be ages before I know that she is someone for me to have kids with. Then, I’m close to 40. Things don’t go as you want sometimes,” agreed Comacove.
Still, some people offered helpful advice. For instance, one individual detailed how their single friends have turned to other options for fertility preservation.
“Several of my close friends are still single in their mid-thirties and want children. Two have already frozen their eggs, and the others are putting effort into finding a partner who doesn’t mind a two to three year timeline,” said Shaylaa30.
BullRun – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Other people advised her to take her time and trust the process– because if she rushed into a marriage for the sake of children, the nuptials might not last.
“You’re asking a whole other person to join in life with you. There is no way to rush this process. Don’t marry someone just because you want marriage and children,” explained Neonroli47.
“You have to be able to see yourself happy with them in the long run. Otherwise, after the children, when the life afterward starts to set in, and you are not happy with the answer to the question, ‘Is this it for the rest of my life?’ then you’re going to struggle again.”
Plus, a few people pointed out how a partner is not necessarily required to have children. If she does not meet the right man within her timeline (or at all), adoption is always an option.
Nonetheless, a bunch of individuals reassured her that she still had time to figure this out.
“I have talked to multiple women who had kids at 36, 27, and even into their early forties. The fact is that people are having children later in life now. And the people I talked to had their kids naturally,” said Raddi_maddi.
“Freezing your eggs is always an option, but I really think people don’t talk about how it’s becoming more common to have kids later in life.”
Are you approaching 30 years old or currently in your thirties? If you want kids but are single, are you also starting to feel some pressure? What advice would you give others in your situation?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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