He Found Out A Girl Was A Single Mom On Their First Date, So He Told Her He Didn't Want To See Her Again And Got Bashed By His Friends

If you went on a date with someone and found out that they were a single parent of three kids, would you still want to keep seeing them?

This 25-year-old man was out at a bar when a 27-year-old woman caught his eye. She had been looking at him all night, and he thought she might be interested in him.

He went up to her, introduced himself, found out her name was Holly, and asked her out on a date. She eagerly said yes, they exchanged numbers, and they organized a date for a week later. Their first date was pretty amazing.

"Holly was funny, sweet, [and] genuinely interested in me. I started thinking this could actually go somewhere. Then, walking out of the restaurant, I glanced at her phone," he explained.

"Her lock screen was her at Disneyland with three young kids. I pointed at it and asked if they were her nieces or nephews. Holly said, 'No, they're mine.' I admittedly lost my excitement."

"However, I didn't want to be rude, so I just said, 'Oh, okay,' continued our conversation, walked her to her car, [and] said goodnight. Holly texted the next day saying she had a good time. I said I did too."

Holly brought up going on a second date, and he replied that he had a nice time with her and she appeared to be incredible, but he wasn't interested in dating a single mom.

Holly was let down, and she wrote him a long response back, ending with her saying thank you for being honest and wishing him the best.

Later on, he told his sister and some of his friends about what happened with Holly, and they thought he handled it in the right way.

GVS - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

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But his friends, 28-year-old Russell and 26-year-old Maya, thought he was a jerk for not wanting to date a single mom, and they told him as much in a group chat with other people. He knew he couldn't be a priority to Holly and that her kids had to come first.

"I want to be my partner's priority. I also don't believe in dragging things out if I know it won't work. This is precisely why I've never stayed in a relationship longer than five months," he added.

"Maya called me selfish for wanting the 'perfect scenario.' She said some kids need a great father, and I could be that soon. She also said people search for years to find chemistry that brings two people together in public, and I'd found it easily (I didn't say this, but I think she's biased since her stepdad is important to her and closer to her than her involved biological father ever was)."

Russell was furious with him and said his reasoning for not wanting to date a single mom was ridiculous. He called him out for being judgmental of Holly having three kids at her age.

He did call it crazy, but that's only because everyone he knows either does not ever want to have kids, or they only want to have them in their 30s, when they're settled in their careers.

Russell and Maya both thought he had been selfish, which made him defensive. He argued that he knew that he and Holly weren't compatible because of her kids, so he didn't want to waste his time or hers. They kept on bashing him for more than 30 minutes.

"I don't think I'm wrong on this, but I do want to get outside perspectives, as there might be something I missed. Do my reasons for not wanting to date a single mother make me [a jerk]?" he wondered.

As one of three kids, I can confirm that's just a lot. I respect him for not leading Holly on, and it's acceptable for him to view this as a dealbreaker.

He's not a jerk for being honest, and he shouldn't let his friends lead him to believe that he is for being truthful with a woman about why he's not interested in dating her.

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