Every Time She Asks A Guy Out On A Dinner Date, They Make It Clear They Don’t Want To Go, So She’s Wondering If She Should Offer To Help Pay Upfront

Bre Avery Zacharski |

Jun 5, 2023

Kzenon - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual people

This 33-year-old woman lives in New York City, and she’s finding the dating scene to not be so easy to navigate.

She really does want to go out to dinner on her dates, but every single time that she suggests that, guys shut it down real quick or disappear into thin air.

“There have clearly been increasing negative experiences for men that make them less inclined to want to go on a dinner date,” she explained.

“I believe that they don’t want to get taken advantage of (free meal leeches), but it’s also possibly a good thing because maybe they didn’t actually want a relationship or to date-date?”

She does admit that it’s much easier to end a date if you only agree to go out for coffee or drinks, as it’s less of a time investment than dinner.

She does not happen to drink, though, so she can never agree to do that on a date, which means she’s kind of stuck just getting coffee with guys.

“That said, I work in Michelin dining; fine dining is a passion of mine,” she said. “I enjoy eating out and going out to eat with people I care about. I mention this as well, and my job is listed in my bio.”

“When I suggest dinner, I get unmatched, rejected, or otherwise slow-faded. What do I do? Should I offer to cover the bill so we can go out? Will I be relegated to coffee meet-ups or walks for the rest of my dating life? I really don’t want that.”

She completely does not expect a guy to want to go to a Michelin restaurant on a first date; she would be totally happy just grabbing burgers or doing something that’s not that high-end.