There are moments in life when you want to be happy for someone, when you should be happy for someone, but your stomach drops instead.
This woman’s younger sister is pregnant, and she is not excited about this at all. Her sister has a record of severe mental health problems that impact her ability to control her emotions and effectively deal with stress.
Her sister frequently has phases that land her in the hospital, and she breaks objects when she has her episodes of melting down.
Her sister has flipped out and yelled at people publicly over small things. While her sister has never harmed a child, their entire family came to the conclusion years ago that her sister should not be left alone with little kids because she cannot keep herself under control when she spirals.
“She got married a couple [of] years ago to a guy who is sweet but also has his own challenges. They were living in a supported housing situation, but got asked to leave because of her outbursts. They moved back in with my mom,” she explained.
“Then, a few months ago, she announced she’s pregnant. When I talked to my mom privately, I found out she actually encouraged it.”
Her mom removed her from the preventative measures she was taking to prevent having a baby and essentially got her sister pregnant because she desperately wanted to be a grandma.
When she found out, she was alarmed, as was the remainder of her family. Her loved ones attempted to get her mom to understand that this was not going to go well at all, but her mom dismissed them all while accusing them of not being supportive or positive.
As for her, she’s taken a big step back from her mom and sister, because she wants to stay far away from this trainwreck as it plays out.
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A handful of weeks ago, she was going through her garage and came across some baby items from when her children were much younger.
She had a crib, a stroller, a car seat, and tons of clothes, so she donated them to a women’s shelter to help those in need. She’s not sure how her mom got wind of this, but she did.
“She called me screaming. Said I had all this stuff sitting around and couldn’t even offer it to my sister. Said if I really cared about the baby, I would want it to have what it needs,” she continued.
“Said I’m putting my disapproval above an innocent child. And that last part is what’s messing with me. Because she’s kind of right that there’s going to be a baby regardless of how I feel about it. And that baby didn’t ask for any of this.”
“But giving her my stuff feels like cosigning a situation I genuinely believe is unsafe. Like handing over a crib feels like saying yeah, this is fine when I don’t think it is at all.”
She’s left wondering if she was wrong to give her baby stuff to strangers when her sister’s baby has nothing prepared for his or her arrival.
Allowing her sister to have her old baby things isn’t making the problem better or safer for the baby. I don’t think she was wrong to donate everything, since it’s not her job to help her sister provide for her child.
Her mom should be the one to step up and buy baby things, since she’s largely to blame for her sister being in this mess. Shame on her mom for putting her dreams of having grandkids above the best interests of this baby on the way.
I have a bad feeling her mom is going to get stuck caring for this child.
Do you think she was rude to donate her baby things instead of giving them to her sister? If you genuinely believe a situation could put a child at risk, is staying neutral even possible?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
