Imagine trying to build a future with your spouse and saving up your money for that, only to find out they’ve been quietly stealing thousands upon thousands of dollars from you.
Would that be an immediate reason to file for divorce in your opinion, or do you think there are viable solutions to get everything back on track?
Six years ago, this 38-year-old man met his 39-year-old wife, and they opened up a joint savings account together. He placed the majority of his income into this account, and three years ago, they got married.
They now have a three-year-old child and a house, which his wife owns, but he pays her rent, as it covers half of the mortgage and expenses.
He earns a bit more than his wife does at his job, and his wife works fewer hours in order to care for their child when they are not in daycare.
Back when he and his wife started their joint account, they agreed on how to spend their shared pool of money, but his wife took out large sums of money behind his back seven or eight times over the years.
“When we first opened the account, I would use my personal account when spending on us, but found out she was sometimes using the joint account,” he explained.
“For example, if we went away for the weekend for her birthday, I would pay from my personal account, but if she took us away for my birthday, I would pay using the joint account. She did this a few times before I noticed, and then a few more times even after we spoke about her doing it.”
His wife spent more than $1,300 doing this. After that, his wife’s friend suggested an investment to her, so his wife withdrew around $13,000 from their joint account and lost practically all of it.
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She came crying to him about her mistake, and he reassured her that they would be able to save money to replace what was gone.
Next came their wedding, and they went far outside of their budget, so they made the choice to save up more money prior to booking their honeymoon.
Not long after that conversation, his wife’s friend promised to let them stay at her vacation home, so he bought their plane tickets with his personal funds and paid for the remainder of their honeymoon with that account.
Upon returning, his wife took about $4,000 from their joint account without saying a word to him. He did discover this later on and confronted his wife, who lied and said she spent the cash on their honeymoon.
He knew she wasn’t being truthful, since he paid for the whole trip, not his wife. He’s uncovered two or three more secret withdrawals his wife made after that.
Amid all of this, he and his wife have been trying to have a baby, and back in December, his wife underwent a fertility treatment, which cost them nearly all of their savings, as they had to travel to another country for it.
They got home, and he learned his wife had taken the last of the money out of their joint bank account without asking or telling him about it.
She then crafted an excuse that didn’t make any sense, but he dropped it as she had just gotten the fertility treatment, and he didn’t want to stress her out.
“Anyway, about 2 weeks ago. I bring it up that I don’t want to carry on with her taking from our joint account behind my back, we argue a bit,” he continued.
“I say something similar to this: the total you have taken behind my back over the last 5 years is probably [$40,000 to $54,000], would a loving or caring wife keep taking their husband’s money behind their back, or is that what a [bad] person would do?”
This really upset his wife, and she’s been crying a lot. Yesterday was Valentine’s Day, and they always get each other presents, but his wife spent the day sobbing and didn’t get him anything.
She actually left to spend the day with her friend, and he thinks his wife is punishing him for saying a wife who loves and cares about him wouldn’t steal his money.
“I feel like I said something horrible, but we’ve been having the same argument for 5 years, and she keeps going back on what we agreed. Did I go too far with what I said?” he wondered.
What the heck did his wife spend his money on? That’s what I’m dying to know! But anyway, he needs to shut down that joint account so his wife can no longer steal money from him. That’s all there is to it.
It’s an enormous red flag that he cannot trust his wife with money, and that’s not somebody I would want to be married to.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
