Her Husband Backed Out Of Having A Baby And Won't Let Her Donate Her Eggs Because He Says She Would Be Having A Baby With Another Man

When your spouse pulls a total bait-and-switch on having a baby, how much should you sacrifice?

This 28-year-old woman's 28-year-old husband recently changed his mind about having kids, and it happened after they tied the knot.

She's adopted, and for as long as she can remember, her dream has been to be a mom. Prior to meeting her husband, she suffered from miscarriages and struggled with her fertility.

They already are aware that they would need to undergo IVF in order to have a baby. Her genetics are wonderful, she says, and her egg count is high.

Before marrying her husband, he did want kids; however, now he is leaning more in the child-free direction.

"Since he’s unsure about us having kids, I told him that if we choose a child-free life, I’d love to donate my eggs to help another infertile family," she explained.

"His Reaction: he said 'absolutely not,' equating it to giving up a baby. He argues that because it shares my biology, it is our child, and he won't let me 'have a baby with another man and give it away,' even though he knows I wouldn't know the parents, the donor, or the child."

She's having such a difficult time dealing with her husband changing his mind about them starting a family, and his view on her donating her eggs is complicating this further.

If she can't get to be a mom, she at least wants to be able to give someone else the gift of having that happiness in their life.

Ivan - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person - pictured above is a woman in a black dress, smiling

She's left wondering how to process this difference of opinion in addition to her husband's switch-up on wanting kids.

What makes this situation especially suffocating is the controlling reaction her husband had when she tried to find purpose in her heartbreak.

I applaud her for hoping to bring meaning to an otherwise devastating compromise, but her husband doesn't sound like someone worth compromising for.

I would leave the marriage if I were her, because backing out on having a baby after getting married is a big red flag, and she said it herself: she really wants to be a mom, so why give that up for him?

She's still really young and has plenty of time to find another man who won't do this to her.

What advice do you have for her?

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