Her Husband Pushed For An Open Marriage, Then Gave Her An Ultimatum

Opening up a monogamous marriage is a massive risk, and all too often, the partner who pushes hardest for non-monogamy is completely unprepared for reality.

This 26-year-old woman and her 28-year-old husband got married three years ago, and they met back in college. They don't have children yet, but they're going to start trying when her husband is in his 30s.

"It’s just been us and the dog. Our life is honestly a dream. We both work for his father’s business and basically have the same hours," she explained.

"So we have the same free time, and if he had met somebody at work, I would know. However, we have different hobbies. I go to book club; he likes golf and football games. I’ve recently started running as I one day wanna run a marathon. So there is room to meet other people."

When the summer started, her husband asked about an open marriage, but she was vehemently opposed to it. She thought he was looking for an open marriage because he already had a woman in mind he wanted to sleep with.

However, the more she thought about it, the more curious she became.

She began speaking to people online who were in an open marriage and did a lot of research. As June came to an end, she was willing to try it and told her husband.

They came up with six rules to stick to before getting involved with other people. 1: Their marriage had to come first. 2: They couldn't keep secrets.

3: They were not allowed to sleep with any mutual friends. 4: They had to prioritize safety. 5: They couldn't bring a hookup over when the other person was in the house. 6: They implemented an open phone policy.

Look! - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person - pictured above is a woman with her hair in her face

"Great. I had more success than he did in the long run, but he found someone faster. He hasn’t admitted this, but I noticed he eventually stopped going out more and can infer something happened with the one person he was seeing," she added.

"He did try to meet other women, but I think he didn’t have the greatest luck. By August, he was starting to make sly comments when I’d go out and get ready for dates. A few times, he’d straight up to try inconvenience me."

"Like one time I went grocery shopping and told him I was going out with somebody that night. He notably takes long showers, so I asked him to shower while I was out. No idea if he started while I was out, but when I got home thirty minutes later, he was still showering. He proceeded to for two more hours."

They got into fights about remarks her husband made about her seeing other men. He accused her of spending more time with these guys than him, which is false.

They are together at work; they still go out on dates every week, and they spend time doing chores together. They also watch movies every night.

Additionally, their romance didn't go downhill at all with the open marriage. She outlined all of this to him, and her husband responded that he no longer wanted to be in an open marriage.

"I want him to be happy, but this has been a great experience for me. I honestly don’t want to end it. We went back and forth for hours, and eventually he gave me an ultimatum: close the relationship or lose him," she continued.

"That’s where we’re at now. I haven’t done anything with anybody else since, but I’m not content at all. I keep telling myself the answer should be easy, but emotionally it isn’t. It’s stressing me out more than I’d like to admit."

Her husband only cares about his own desires, and she's just along for the ride. I think she's right that he knew he wanted to cheat or was in the middle of it already when he brought up an open marriage this summer.

I think agreeing to an open marriage was the kiss of death for them, and she's learned monogamy isn't for her. I don't see how their marriage can ever recover when her husband clearly regrets this.

This is the time for her to do something if she doesn't see the happily ever after she's searching for with her husband.

What advice do you have for her?

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