She's Divorcing Her Husband, Who Stopped Being A Dad, Went Back To His Old Hobbies, And Is Happier Than Ever

When your spouse acts like the end of your marriage is a hall pass out of parenting, how do you deal with that?

Four years ago, this woman started dating her husband, and they have been married for less than a year. They have a son who is 2.5 years old.

Overall, she says her marriage has been a mess because she and her husband have opposite ideas of how they want to do things. They also don't agree on the fundamentals, and their relationship is full of conflict, yet her husband can't communicate effectively to fix it.

"The first year of my son’s life [I] was essentially a married single mom. I was miserable in the relationship, and he was, of course, happy because he was able to do whatever he wanted while I raised a baby," she explained.

"As I began demanding more help, he became more and more of a miserable person and began to resent me for it. I asked him to stop attending the MMA gym he went to because it took up a lot of time when I could use help; he started just playing video games at home during that time rather than actually helping."

She clearly told her husband how she wanted him to pitch in, and instead of helping, he got mad about it and didn't make a real effort.

This year, she went back to school to obtain a degree in her industry, and surprisingly, her husband did a good job for two months with putting their son to bed, bathing him, and cooking dinner for their family.

This made her husband so miserable, though, that she couldn't stand to be around him, and he would have outbursts over tiny things.

He criticized her constantly and failed to compromise. Eventually, they chose to get a divorce, and at the moment, they're separated.

Viki Sky.art - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person - pictured above is a woman with a bob haircut

"But because we are low income, we will probably stay living together until January/February when we get tax refunds and a bit of money for one of us to move out," she added.

"Since that conversation, he went back to his old hobbies, mainly the gym, but also going to church more. He’s been picking up gig work on the weekends, so he’s not really home anymore."

"Because of this, after work each afternoon. I am cooking dinner, bathing our son and putting him to bed, putting schoolwork off until about 9 p.m. when I’m exhausted."

She's not thrilled that her husband has gone back to spending all of his time on the hobbies he had when their son was an infant. She did make him quit all of this because she didn't love having to deal with their baby alone, on top of holding down a full-time job and being in school.

She resents how happy her husband is and the fact that he's ditched all of his parental duties, as if the end of their marriage gives him the right to do that.

"I can’t imagine having to split custody with him given how irresponsible he has been as a father thus far, so part of me is relieved that he seems so uninterested in keeping up with parenting responsibilities; it’s also helping me to accept the situation, realizing how little he actually cares," she continued.

Her husband's been treating basic adulthood like an unfair punishment, and he's actually the worst. She already knows what it's like to be a single mom, since that's what her life looked like when her son was younger, and her future will be the same.

She can't count on her husband to step up now or ever, and it's sad that he was only reliable for two months in the nearly three years her son has been on this planet.

It's unfortunate that this is her reality, but it will be easier to handle starting over without him as soon as one of them can leave the house.

What advice do you have for her?

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