Her Husband Doesn't Love Her And Is Disappointed She Didn't Lose Weight Sooner Or Keep Their House Cleaner

Would you be devastated if your spouse confessed to no longer loving you, then tied it to you gaining weight and not keeping the house clean?

This woman has spent 18 years with her husband, and they have four kids together. Two weeks after celebrating their anniversary, her husband admitted that he is no longer in love with her and doesn't love her at all.

Apparently, he only considers her a best friend. He started feeling like this years ago and only just decided to say something to her about it.

Her husband's feelings about her have sent him into a depression, and he can no longer pretend. Now, he's struggled with depression and anxiety in the past, but has declined medication. He is currently speaking to a therapist, who told him to take it slow and look inside for answers.

"Well, this is the answer he found. He doesn’t want me. I am 100% blindsided. Literally, one day I had my loving husband, my best friend, and the next he was done. I feel heartbroken, betrayed, and lied to," she explained.

"He said he stopped loving me before we had our baby, who is now 1. He thought having another kid would help things; well, it didn’t."

"Especially because during my pregnancy I had hyperemesis gravidarum and was pretty much bedridden, only getting out to go to the hospital for IV fluids."

She questioned her husband about whether he wants to proceed with a divorce, but he remained silent for 24 hours before responding to her.

He then said he is open to trying to save their marriage, and that was four days ago. Her husband has since told her that he no longer wants her to say that she loves him.

Kateryna - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person - pictured above is a woman sitting on a couch with her legs crossed

Also, he revealed that her touching him or holding his hand makes him uneasy. He's been silently sitting around on the couch all day, every day, instead of talking to her.

He stated he can't bear to look at her because the guilt is eating him alive. Her husband took an entire week off of work and has been moping around.

He mentioned that he thinks they can manage to be best friends even if their marriage collapses. While he has said he will give marriage counseling a go, she believes he's only saying that out of guilt.

She's just so confused, as they never had any big problems. They don't really fight.

"I’m not perfect, I know that. My major issues he’s had with me over the years have been my weight and not keeping the house clean [the way] he likes it," she added.

After their third child, she packed on the pounds. As soon as she lost a bit of weight, she got pregnant yet again, and that was hard on her body.

Four months ago, she went back on her weight loss journey and has managed to drop 28 pounds, but she's not done; she's just getting started.

While in the middle of losing weight, she made more of an effort to keep their home neat and tidy. There's definitely an improvement there.

"I asked if the past 4 months have swayed anything in him since I started changing before he told me anything, so it wasn’t a last-ditch effort from me. But he said after years of disappointment from me not changing sooner, it didn’t have any sway," she continued.

"I’m terrified it’s over. What if after trying everything he doesn’t want me still? What if he can’t open his heart again? He says it’s all his fault, which is why he feels so guilty, but despite everything, I still love him and am in love with him."

"I want us to work, even if that means both of us change and start a brand new marriage and relationship. How much time do I give us/him? He’s my first love; I always put him before myself and love him more than anything in the world. I can’t let go yet."

He had four freaking kids with her and is feeling sorry for himself over what? How dare he. Why would he have a family with her if he felt like he didn't love her?

This is so messed up, and she has to choose herself. No more catering to him. As hurtful as it is for her to come to terms with reality, their marriage is done.

She sounds to me like nothing but a wonderful, supportive wife, and she deserves better than her husband, who is totally taking her for granted.

What advice do you have for her?

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