She Fell For A Man In An Open Marriage Who Wanted A Girlfriend, Leaving Her Heartbroken When His Wife Left Him

If you met someone who was in an open marriage, would you want to get romantically involved with them, or would that be too messy for you to consider?

In August, this 36-year-old woman met a 40-year-old man at a yoga retreat. They instantly felt sparks flying after spending the week together.

"He was in an open marriage, which I knew from the beginning, but we were both interested in exploring where things might go," she explained.

"A few weeks later, we went on what was genuinely one of the best dates I’ve ever had. Over the next two months, we continued seeing each other, spending time outdoors, having sleepovers, and developing a pretty intense emotional and romantic connection. I was falling hard."

"He had expressed wanting a girlfriend alongside his wife, but I began questioning whether I could genuinely be happy as a secondary partner. I was preparing to walk away when his marriage began unraveling. Divorce had apparently been discussed before we met, but our connection seemed to become a catalyst for their separation."

He still showed her affection in the weeks that followed, but he gradually began to pull away from her. She questioned him about the change, and he promised he still had feelings for her, but was just depressed about coming to terms with the end of his marriage and the life he was giving up.

He reassured her that what they had was special, but he had to take some time to himself to find his happiness once more after losing so much.

He said they could hang out from time to time and that in the future, everything was subject to change. He did talk to her every day, but she quit replying, as she was unsure of her feelings.

It's been three weeks since she stopped speaking to him. He's constantly on her mind, and she misses the bond that they had.

bignai - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person - pictured above is a woman in an orange dress outside

"I understand that ending a long-term marriage comes with an enormous amount of emotional complexity, and I genuinely respect his need to navigate that independently," she continued.

"At the same time, I’m trying to understand my own feelings without becoming attached to an uncertain outcome. I’m curious about two things: Can someone develop genuine romantic feelings for another person while going through a major life transition, yet feel emotionally incapable of pursuing that connection?"

"When a meaningful connection ends without much closure, is it better to leave the door open and allow the other person to reconnect when they’re ready, or move forward without holding onto that possibility?"

What's so agonizing is how rapidly the dynamic shifted once he was actually single. When he had the ability to dive into a full relationship with her, he shut her out instead, which means she wasn't all that special to him in the first place.

Sounds like he just wanted to have his cake and eat it too, and the candid truth for anyone caught in this situation is that it rarely leads to a happily ever after.

Keeping the door open only pauses her own life while waiting on a man who needs a crutch, not a partner. She has to let him go and resolve to never get mixed up in something like this again. Single men only, sister.

What advice do you have for her?

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Pictured above is a screenshot of the original Reddit post for you to read

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