She Told Her Older Sister To Deal With The Consequences After Her Sister Knowingly Married And Had Kids With An Unstable Person Who Wound Up In Jail
This 25-year-old woman and her older sister, Bethany, have never had a close relationship.
Bethany is actually 12 years older than her. So, when she was just 6 years old, her sister was already heading off to college.
Then, following college graduation, Bethany wound up meeting a man named Adam– who could never hold down a job and was constantly getting in trouble with the law.
According to her, everyone advised Bethany to move on from Adam for these reasons, too. Yet, her sister went against her family’s perspective and ultimately married Adam.
“Because Bethany said that she had a ‘thing for bad boys’ and that Adam made her feel edgy and exciting,” she recalled.
Anyway, Bethany and Adam then had four children together. Their oldest, named Amelia, is 7 years old. Afterward, they welcomed twin boys– Jack and Niko– who are 3 years old. Finally, their youngest daughter, Rae, just turned 2.
Just after Rae was welcomed into the world, though, everything went sideways.
Adam was ultimately charged with a very serious crime. So, at the very least, he will be spending the next six years behind bars– leaving Bethany to be a single mother.
Now, her parents would love to help out her sister. But they’re now in their sixties, and it’s not easy to help with the kids when they’re no longer babies. Instead, the kids are full-on toddlers who can easily outrun her parents, making the arrangement unrealistic.
Olga Krivokoneva – Stock.Adobe.com, illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
That’s why her family has recently turned to her and asked if she would start caring for her nieces and nephews while she works from home.
However, that just would not be possible for her. While she works from home, she is still expected to actually work, speak with clients, and actively participate in meetings. And that means she would be unable to step away from her computer to constantly keep an eye on the children– especially Rae, who is still young.
On top of that, she is only 25 years old and still has college debt to pay back. So, she thinks that having experience babysitting as a teenager does not mean she is ready to practically become a parent or caregiver herself.
“I also reminded Bethany that she has never really been involved in my life other than attending the same occasional holiday parties,” she added.
“We may share DNA, but we’re practically strangers.”
So, while she acknowledged that Adam’s situation is unfortunate right now, she also pointed out how, over the years, Adam proved he would never be a stable partner. Yet, Bethany decided to continue having kids with Adam into her thirties– when her sister was no longer a naive teenager.
That’s why, at the end of the day, she believes that since Bethany chose the “excitement” of being with Adam, her sister also chose to deal with the consequences. And she doesn’t believe any of her sister’s choices should become her own responsibility.
However, her parents have since threatened her with an ultimatum. They claimed that unless she stepped up to the plate, then they were going to leave everything to Bethany and the kids when they pass away. Plus, she will never receive any financial help from her parents again.
Still, she stuck to her guns and told her parents to do whatever they wanted. She also reiterated the fact that, regardless, she still is not responsible for any of her sister’s life choices.
Anyway, she has since explained the whole situation to a few of her friends. And for the most part, they agreed that she was not in the wrong for refusing to help out Bethany since the option was not realistic whatsoever.
But some of her friends did claim that the way she explained her perspective to Bethany and her parents actually made her a jerk.
“Because no one gets married expecting to be a single parent, and what I said about Adam came off as victim-blaming Bethany for her situation,” she explained.
So now, she’s been left wondering whether claiming she wasn’t responsible for the consequences of her older sister’s choices was the wrong way to handle the situation.
Does she have a point that Bethany made her own choices? Is that victim-blaming or not? Should she be responsible for the care of her nieces and nephews? Did she go about setting her boundaries in the best way?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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