Her Dad Wanted To Stay With Her On His 5-Week Long Vacation, But After She Told Him No, Her Sister Said She Was Rude And Selfish
This 26-year-old woman lives in Canada, while her 64-year-old father lives in Peru. He moved away when she was only 12 years old, and she still has a lot of negative memories and abandonment issues from him. Due to all of this, they also don’t have a very close relationship.
But, in the fall of 2022, her dad came to Canada for a month-long visit. He has another daughter who is 32 years old and engaged, but he insisted that he stay with her instead of her sister– since even though her sister has more space for guests, he feels he should not stay there because of her sister’s fiancé.
“I told my dad it wasn’t really fair that I keep him the whole trip because he has another daughter who can also help, but they both rathered me do it. I told my dad to spend the time with his sister instead, who isn’t too far, and he agreed he would,” she explained.
Under these conditions of him spending some time at her sister’s house and doing his best not to trigger any negative emotions, she agreed to let him stay with her for part of his trip. Yet, unfortunately, she ended up having a huge panic attack during her dad’s stay, which was worse than any panic attack she’d had in a long time.
“At the end of my dad’s trip, I told him I would likely not do it again cause of how traumatic it was. He said he was hurt but understood, and next time he could stay with my sister as this time he rarely did,” she recalled.
Fast forward to 2023, and out of the blue, her dad sends her an itinerary of his 5-week trip. And she had no idea he was planning to visit, so she asked him if he had talked to her sister about staying there this time around. But he explained that he hadn’t and wanted to stay with her again, even after what happened on the trip prior.
His reasoning for staying there rather than at her sister’s house was, again, because of her sister’s relationship status. He told her that once she has a serious relationship, he will respect her for not wanting her father to stay there.
Soon after this conversation, however, she did get into a relationship. And while her boyfriend didn’t live with her full time, he did spend a lot of time at her place. She brought this up with her father, but he still didn’t accept her reasonings, saying that it was just different from having a fiancé.
“I did offer all my weekends and all my work-from-home days to go to his own sister or my sisters’ [homes] to spend time with him, but that wasn’t good enough for him,” she said.
olly – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Then, she received a text in a group chat with her sister and her father, in which her dad claimed that he was canceling his trip because he felt like he won’t get to spend enough time with his daughters if he stayed with his sister. He also said he will just come the following year instead.
She responded, saying she was disappointed that he was canceling, but coming next year would not change any of the issues, and he would still need to stay with his sister.
“My sister tells me I’m rude, to which I told her if she wasn’t happy with the outcome to open her doors. My sister and dad ended up ganging up on me, calling me selfish and rude when I set this boundary, so I left the chat,” she vented.
Do you think she was right in standing strong with the boundary she set for herself, or do you think she should have let her father stay at her house no matter what?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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