His Son Told Him He Needed To Put Himself Out There More Before He Ended Up A Lonely Man, But He Claimed He Wouldn’t Take Life Advice From An 18-Year-Old, And Now His Son Won’t Come Home Until He Apologizes
At the beginning of 2020, this 40-year-old man’s ex, also 40, came out to him as a lesbian.
When he heard this news, he was devastated, and since they broke up, he hasn’t dated or been in a relationship. He just doesn’t think it’s worth it to try to find a new partner.
Now, the only communication he has with his ex is in relation to the co-parenting of his 18-year-old son.
His son is from a former relationship, and he raised his son by himself until he met his ex.
She is the only mother figure that his son has ever grown up knowing, and he’s always accepted their strong bond.
Since the breakup, his son has spent the majority of the time living with him, but he still sees her often.
Not long ago, his son began a new job.
“His trainer/mentor at his job is an ex-colleague of mine, E, 39. E was a good mate of mine at work for three of the last four years. In fact, I would say my bestie, really. When she left, I haven’t spoken to her, really. My son’s always talking about how much E talks about me and asks about me and teases me about how he thinks she has a crush on me. I usually just laugh it off,” he said.
A couple of days ago, his son was thrilled when he got home after a day at work. The reason he was so happy was because he received an invitation to his company’s Christmas party, and guests were able to bring a plus one. He was planning to bring his girlfriend.
Jacob Lund – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“He then said E said to him she doesn’t have anyone to take and said to him she’d love me to be her plus one and take me,” he explained.
“I just laughed as I always do and said, ‘Yeah, imagine that,’ He seemed really quiet after that, so I asked him what was up.”
“He basically said, ‘I love you, Dad, but I don’t understand you. You’re letting your life go by, and all you do is just sit at home and play games on your PC and do anything or see anyone other than me and don’t have any friends. You need to start getting out there and enjoying life more. Otherwise, you’ll be a lonely man.”
Instead of his son’s words of concern helping him, they made him angry. He told his son to be quiet and stop sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong.
Then, he told his son that he wouldn’t heed guidance on how to live his life from someone who was only 18.
Rather than responding to what he said, his son stood up, said he was going to stay at his ex’s, and left the house.
A while later, his ex called him to say that his son was deeply hurt.
He told his ex that his son should be the one who feels saddened, but he’s the one who should be sad because of what his son told him.
“But then she hit me with the old cliche–we’re all family, and they’re just worried about me, which I told her was ironic because she wasn’t that worried about me when she decided she was finally a lesbian and wasted 11 years of my life. She called me a jerk and hung up,” he shared.
After that, he sent his son a text message and told him to come back. His son texted back, saying that he’d listened in on the fight between him and his ex, and his ex was currently sobbing. Then, his son told him he wouldn’t come back to his house until he told him he was sorry.
In response, he told his son he wouldn’t be apologizing because he didn’t say anything he thinks he should be sorry for.
Once the drama was over, he ranted to his mother about the situation. Normally, she supported him, but she said that his son made a valid point.
In her view, she thought he needed to move forward and try to date a kind woman and develop a new relationship. She told him that he would bring happiness to a woman’s life.
He couldn’t believe she was telling him all of this because she’d never voiced any of these opinions since he and his ex broke up.
Even though some people find therapy to be beneficial for them, he tried going to therapy, and it wasn’t for him. He attended a couple of sessions, but he believed that his therapist was too focused on his ex coming out as a lesbian, and he thought his therapist was critical of his anger in response to the breakup.
Do you think he was wrong to refuse to apologize to his son and his ex?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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