Her Husband Hates Working, But Has Expensive Taste, And He’s Pushing Her To Finish Writing Her Book Since He Thinks They’ll Get Rich Quick
This young woman admits that she’s an introverted nerd who treasures her time alone. She likes to study, write, or read when she’s all by herself.
She thinks there’s something to be said about opposites attracting because her husband couldn’t be more different than she is.
Her husband’s friends refer to him as a “Golden Retriever,” and he can socialize all day every day without getting burned out.
He actually gets depressed if he has to skip out on any social events. He jumps from one thing to the next, doesn’t ever think too much about anything, and is always incredibly happy.
“It might seem weird, but our differences are the reason why we make each other happy: I have a tendency to retreat, overthink, and isolate, and he enthusiastically nudges me (exactly like a very affectionate dog would) to go out, visit new places, have fun, socialize with him and friends,” she explained.
“I am five years older than he is (he is 26, I am 31), and he always says he admires my wisdom and the way I am more thoughtful and mature than he is. He plays video games with his friends in the evenings, which leaves me with plenty of time to read and write.”
“I am currently writing a book, and I want to be a full-time writer very badly. He is finishing his Ph.D. and working a minimum-wage job on the side to make ends meet.”
While she values her career aspirations, her husband absolutely hates having to work, and he hates being in academia too.
His family is comprised of a long line of well-accomplished academics, so he simply chose that path for himself in order to make his parents feel proud of him.
Maksym Azovtsev – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
It makes her husband miserable and sad to work on completing his Ph.D., and he chips away at it around his job in the service industry and spending time with his friends.
“He always tells me he has no career ambition, nothing work-related fulfills him, and that if he could, he would be my house-husband and look after the house while I work as a successful author,” she said.
“This would be ideal, but my book would have to sell well for this to happen. The problem is that my husband is obsessed with houses and has expensive and eccentric tastes.”
“I do not care about the aesthetic of a house or house decorating at all. I am fulfilled by books, and all I care about is modern amenities and having central heating and insulation (I hate being cold).”
Her husband loves antiques and grand homes. His dream is to buy and restore an old home, but she knows that will require a lot of money to renovate.
Her husband wants to fill their future home with pricey antiques and plans on purchasing antique cars too.
Her husband desires more things than she does, but it concerns her that he doesn’t have any drive or ambition to help pay for what he likes.
Another thing they’re not completely on the same page about is having kids. Her husband maintains he would be happy not to have kids if that’s what she wants.
But she knows her husband will be desperate to have a baby in the near future, even though she’s fine not having a baby at all.
“It’s like with his Ph.D.: he does what he thinks will make his close ones happy, does not think too deeply, and then digs himself into a situation he does not want to be in,” she continued.
“His problem is that he is not a planner and, if left to his own devices, will wander towards a highly impractical future with no coherent plan to start a family. He always says he does not want to do a “soul-destroying” highly-paid job, but the thing is, he has to make a sacrifice somewhere: if he does not want a highly-paid job, then I, as the breadwinner, have the right to get a less “aesthetic,” smaller, more practical house.”
“If he does want a huge Georgian house, that is fine, but he can’t expect a kid if we pour all our money into that. There has to be a compromise on both sides: I can compromise either by having a kid or going for the type of house he wants, but we are equals, and he has to compromise equally in return.”
Now, her husband is getting on her nerves by wanting her to publish her book ASAP since he thinks they’ll get filthy rich off of it.
She’s upset her husband is pressuring her hard to complete her book simply so he can buy the big house he’s always wanted. She’s left wondering what she should do.
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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