She’s Thinking Of Calling Off Her Wedding Since Her Fiancé Blames His Inability To Complete Basic Tasks On His ADHD
Four years ago, this 39-year-old woman started dating her 43-year-old fiancé, and they are planning on moving in together soon.
Their wedding is happening this winter, and it’s going to be private and simplistic. Her fiancé does have ADHD, and he takes medication for it.
While he’s quite successful in his career, he blames his inability to complete basic tasks on his ADHD.
She’s a very understanding person, but she’s grown so frustrated by her fiancé hiding behind his ADHD that she’s honestly thinking of calling off her wedding.
He refuses to clean a single thing in his home, which works out for the most part, as he has a cleaning lady come once every week to pick up.
However, his cleaning lady has been out of the country for the last three weeks, and he’s allowed dishes to pile up like crazy.
Her fiancé hasn’t done laundry, taken out the trash, or changed the sheets on his bed, which are coated in fur from his two dogs.
The lack of cleanliness in her fiancé’s home right now actually isn’t what she has the biggest issue with: it’s that he’s always late billing his clients.
“He doesn’t want administrative help from other people (he wants ME to do it, but I also have a full-time job),” she explained.
Yakobchuk Olena – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“He doesn’t feel comfortable working with anyone else. And the invoicing does take a bit of time, but it’s really no big deal. And he doesn’t get paid unless he does it. But over and over, he just is months late and starts to run out of money (he also has issues with budgeting).”
“I find this stressful, and it often affects me (sometimes he needs to borrow some money just until he gets paid). Each day, I’ll ask him if he’s invoiced, and he’ll reply, “Nope.” But he manages to go get his hair dyed. Or go get a massage. Or go to the dentist. Or yoga.”
She’s sick and tired of doling out so much sympathy to him. Her fiancé acts like a total child when faced with any kind of responsibility, and if she calls him out, he replies that he’s successful at his job.
While this is a fact, he can’t budget, so that prevents him from being wealthy. She’s so beyond irritated that calling off the wedding is looking better every day.
Not only that; it’s crossed her mind to dump him too. She can’t tell if there’s some kind of solution she’s missing or if she has every right to want to walk away.
She grapples with telling herself to exercise more patience while also acknowledging that her fiancé is behaving in an absurd way and not like an adult.
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
More About:Relationships