Nobody I know who has asked for a divorce has wanted one out of left field. There’s almost always a valid reason or two for no longer wanting to be with your spouse.
So if your partner woke up one day and blindsided you with wanting a divorce, only to give you a weak excuse, would you think they found someone else?
This 34-year-old man says his 30-year-old wife was always the love of his life. They have a four-year-old son with one another, and they have shared the last 12 years together.
He never once suspected that there was an issue in his marriage. But a couple of months ago, his wife returned from a vacation and informed him she wanted to separate, which broke his heart.
“It was completely out of left field, and after talking it out, it seemed like she wanted to stay and figure it out. Her reasoning then was she is allergic to our cats, which we have had for 14 years,” he explained.
“I told her I would get rid of the cats (who I literally consider my babies), but she said it wasn’t necessary and that we could put them upstairs.”
“Then a few weeks later, she was consistently texting a male co-worker (23m, single), often [inappropriately], and I called her out. She continued to, and then at a point said she would stop.”
His wife continued to text her coworker despite his insistence that it had to stop. He told his wife that she really had to cut contact with the guy if they had any hopes of fixing their marriage.
His wife simply responded that she’s not willing to end her friendship with her coworker, though she confessed that their bond had gone off the deep end and turned into an emotional affair.
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They got into an argument, and he demanded to know if this coworker was to blame for their marriage being over. His wife mentioned she wasn’t positive she even wanted to be married at all.
“My entire world feels like it is crashing down. I never wanted kids as early as we did; I was completely pressured into it, and now he is going to have divorced parents,” he said.
“I just hate myself, the world, [and] her. I don’t know how to continue from here. I’m just destroyed and hurt. I get that it is probably normal from a breakup or divorce, but she had promised to love me unconditionally, and I just feel so betrayed.”
He’s left wondering what to do.
Yeah, her coworker is totally to blame for this, and he needs to let his wife go. He should get himself into therapy and figure out what he wants from his life while working towards healing.
There’s no use in begging his wife to stay with him when she’s obviously trying to chase after her younger coworker. She definitely thinks the grass is greener, and she’s in for a rude wakeup call.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
