Her Husband Cheated On Her, Convinced Her To Quit Her Job, Got Her Pregnant, And Now Wants A Divorce

If your spouse cheated on you, and while you were expecting a baby, decided they wanted to get a divorce because they were no longer in love with you, would you still fight for the marriage?

This 22-year-old woman and her 23-year-old husband are high school sweethearts who got married in May of last year. Five months after their wedding, her husband cheated on her.

She didn't leave him because she was so focused on the life they were creating together, which she didn't want to throw away. Also, he did seem truly remorseful and stated he wanted to be a better person for her and for himself as well.

Following his affair, her husband has proved to her that he is working on a better version of himself. He's communicating with her more effectively and has regained her trust.

"I believed that we had both really begun to heal and grow better with each other when we found out I was pregnant this summer," she explained.

"At the time, he had just convinced me to quit my job since his was paying more after our move. I was content for the time not working and enjoying my hobbies and taking care of my new husband and our fur babies."

"I had not intended to stay out of work for a long period of time, but then we found out about the baby. He told me that he would rather have me at home with the baby once she is born, and therefore why get a job just for the pregnancy when it isn't needed. I had no strong desire yet to return to work, and so I stayed unemployed."

The first three months of her pregnancy were horrible. She landed in the ER, spent 14 to 18 hours sleeping in bed, and she felt like garbage.

She couldn't manage to leave the house or give her dog a bath. Her husband was having a tough time at work, and because of their own struggles, they morphed into roommates, and their romance declined.

Andrei - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person - pictured above is a woman sitting on a park bench

Lately, she's been feeling better. Last week, her husband worked 12 to 13 hours every single day, and it hit her how alone she really is.

Where she moved, she doesn't know anyone except for her husband. Her husband felt sorry for her and sent her to her mom and dad's house, which is four hours away.

On the car ride there, they had a good time, and while she was with her family, her husband spent most of his evenings out drinking.

"He claims to have come to the realization about the divorce this week, but I think it's been longer. He told me that he believes we are stuck in a cycle where we do good for a while and then we start to struggle communicating and disconnect, before one of us explodes," she added.

"That he has been seeing a therapist for a month that I didn't know about, which is not the issue, but I didn't even know he wanted one or was struggling that bad."

"He said that he wants to grow and change and feels trapped. He feels like there are too many expectations, and with a baby on the way, he's scared. He thinks he can't grow or change while in our marriage. That he needs time and space."

She can't believe this, because she was under the impression they've been on the same page. After her husband said he wanted a divorce, she responded that she loves him and is willing to fight to save their marriage.

She's giving him 10 days while he's out of town before they meet up again to talk about what they should do. She's upset that her husband has a pattern of running away from things when life gets difficult.

If he's scared, he doesn't confront things head-on. He tries to dodge his adult responsibilities, and she's not the only person who has noticed this about him.

"He said that he doesn't feel like he is in love with me and wants to be happy, but I feel like he is directing all of his unhappiness, fear, and uncertainty about this new phase of our lives towards me," she continued.

"I don't know how long or how hard I should fight for our marriage. I won't force him into anything, and I will not continue to choose someone who doesnt want to choose me or put effort into our marriage."

"I love him and truly believe that we were on our way to breaking the cycle he thinks we were in, that if he is willing to grow up and face the scary hard things, then we will be the team I thought we were. I don't know if I should just let him go now and work towards a good co-parenting relationship..."

"I am as ready as I can be for a child and am excited to grow more as an individual, but to add parent to the list of growth areas. But do I keep fighting to do that with someone who claims they love me and want me to be their person, that they want the life and family we are building, but is running from me and that life as I sit here and type this?"

What a series of unfortunate events here. Her husband cheated on her; she quit her job, let him get her pregnant, and moved somewhere she knows nobody. Not good ideas at all.

She absolutely shouldn't fight for her marriage, and her husband is not going to change. He doesn't have a reason to, because she just goes along with whatever he wants to do.

And how can you fight for a marriage when the other person doesn't want to do that? They both have to be all in on working to course-correct, and she and her husband are not.

Her husband made it clear he doesn't want her or their marriage. She should take that as a sign to move home and get her life together.

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